the messed up news story thread

[laxxe23]

post the links to news you find online thats either messed up funny or you think is interesting
ill start:
Florida resident sues fortune teller
http://www.digitalspy.co.uk/odd/a135328/florida-resident-sues-fortune-teller.html

YOU CAN JOIN THE ARMY IF YOU TAKE ECSTASY - BUT NOT IF YOU'RE A VEGAN
http://www.express.co.uk/posts/view/72215/You-can-join-the-army-if-you-take-ecstasy-but-not-if-you-re-a-vegan

[laxxe23]

Just go to I Am Bored - they have news articles as wacky as this all the time.

An interesting one recently is the Canadian Govt. Saying fat people can get two seats for the price of one. Is that fair?

i get em from fark, but not everyone does know of these sites

[Merchant_Of_Death]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MOxEa4mkPik
crazys...
note:name is somewhat-misleading, it's really just talking about a group of crazys(imo they're crazy)not the religion in general.

There was this funny thing about a man buying 100,000 lolipops using a school account but I can't find it anymore <.<

[nagato]

apparently some kid in china died when his chair exploded. http://www.sankakucomplex.com/2009/02/20/chair-kills-boy-by-anal-penetration/

[Lisk]

apparently some kid in china died when his chair exploded. http://www.sankakucomplex.com/2009/02/20/chair-kills-boy-by-anal-penetration/

[nagato]

12 Hour Viagra Sex Marathon Proves Fatal
http://www.sankakucomplex.com/2009/03/01/12-hour-viagra-sex-marathon-proves-fatal/

So... Did he win or lose?

[chibiyoko707]

I found this amazing the picture is paper mache but look how exspensive it is to make a gundam without any weapons or flight   
http://kotaku.com/343557/the-price-of-making-a-real-gundam

[nagato]

man saws girlfriend with DIY sex tool. http://www.sankakucomplex.com/2009/03/10/man-saws-girlfriend-with-diy-sex-tool/

Basically the guy and girl had the bright idea to put a sex toy on a power saw and use it on the girl, much to their surprise the saw cut through the plastic toy and cut into the girl mid performance.

[FallenStar]

I wonder if these are the kinds of idiots that wind up on Maury Povitch   

[Merchant_Of_Death]

http://www.sankakucomplex.com/2009/03/19/lesbian-attempts-to-rape-her-wife-with-brothers-sperm/

A lady who attempted to forcibly impregnate her wife with a syringe containing semen from her brother has been charged with domestic violence, though her wife declined to press charges for attempted rape.

Police were called to the couple's home after an altercation between the pair, in which the younger wife (26) assailed her wife (33) with a turkey baster and a package of foil wrapped semen she had somehow acquired from her brother.

Just where/how did she get her bro's cum is my question...

[Mydnyght Edgeworth]

apparently some kid in china died when his chair exploded. http://www.sankakucomplex.com/2009/02/20/chair-kills-boy-by-anal-penetration/

12 Hour Viagra Sex Marathon Proves Fatal
http://www.sankakucomplex.com/2009/03/01/12-hour-viagra-sex-marathon-proves-fatal/

So... Did he win or lose?

http://www.sankakucomplex.com/2009/03/19/lesbian-attempts-to-rape-her-wife-with-brothers-sperm/

A lady who attempted to forcibly impregnate her wife with a syringe containing semen from her brother has been charged with domestic violence, though her wife declined to press charges for attempted rape.

Police were called to the couple's home after an altercation between the pair, in which the younger wife (26) assailed her wife (33) with a turkey baster and a package of foil wrapped semen she had somehow acquired from her brother.

Just where/how did she get her bro's cum is my question...

There's this morning radio show I listen to, and that's where I've heard those stories.
And I've heard lots of other insane news stories from that show too. Here's one:

Newburgh firefighter performs delicate operation to save man's penis
http://www.recordonline.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20081025/NEWS/81025007