Author Topic: The news article discussion topic  (Read 25456 times)

Offline Serika

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The news article discussion topic
« on: June 24, 2014, 02:03:33 PM »
Since most of the new topics in general discussion these days are either wacky news articles posted by me or sick sad news stories posted by Star, and since they rarely get more than a few replies, i thought i would just make a sticky so we could put it all here.

News stories. Let's include the header, a link to the article, and maybe short quotes whenever possible.



Man gets stuck inside a statue of a vagina in Germany
http://www.bbc.co.uk/newsbeat/27971248

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A man has had to be rescued by firefighters in Germany after becoming stuck inside a stone vagina.

The man, who is said to be an American exchange student...

Had to laugh as soon as i read that second line. This is the kind of trouble that only an American boy under the age of 23 could get himself into. I'm sure his friends will never, EVER let him live that one down.
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Offline Serika

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Re: The news article discussion topic
« Reply #1 on: July 13, 2014, 02:06:46 AM »
Naked selfies extracted from 'factory reset' phones
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/technology-28264446

Sooo, Avast bought a bunch of used phones and pulled up their deleted data that hadn't been overwritten yet. Lots of fun stuff, some good fap material too. This just goes to show why you NEVER sell used data storage devices. Hell, when i got rid of my old computer i pulled out the hard drive, opened it up, and bent the platters just to make data retrieval impossible.

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The company claims that of 40,000 stored photos extracted from 20 phones purchased from eBay, more than 750 were of women in various stages of undress,
Heh heh, i wonder if they kept the pics? I'm almost willing to bet money that at least one employee put them on a flash drive and took them home without telling anybody.

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along with 250 selfies of "what appears to be the previous owner's manhood".
Wahahaha! 250 cocks from 20 phones?! Does that mean the average guy takes 12.5 pictures of his own dick? Maybe they were gifts sent to the previous owners from other guys? (See attached motivator)
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Offline Mighty Oracle

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Re: The news article discussion topic
« Reply #2 on: July 21, 2014, 04:19:52 AM »
Saw the vaginal one on Facebook not too long ago. I thought it was unwitting at first, but apparently it was done as a dare.

Offline Serika

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Re: The news article discussion topic
« Reply #3 on: September 09, 2014, 11:58:51 AM »
Chocolate teapot proves useful
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-york-north-yorkshire-29126161

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When put to the test the teapot survived, albeit pouring tea with a "hint of chocolate".

Good grief, of all the things to spend six weeks on building. That sounds awesome though, melting chocolate into your tea. :lol:
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Offline darklok

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Re: The news article discussion topic
« Reply #4 on: November 18, 2014, 10:12:05 PM »
Naked selfies extracted from 'factory reset' phones
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/technology-28264446

Sooo, Avast bought a bunch of used phones and pulled up their deleted data that hadn't been overwritten yet. Lots of fun stuff, some good fap material too. This just goes to show why you NEVER sell used data storage devices. Hell, when i got rid of my old computer i pulled out the hard drive, opened it up, and bent the platters just to make data retrieval impossible.

Quote
The company claims that of 40,000 stored photos extracted from 20 phones purchased from eBay, more than 750 were of women in various stages of undress,
Heh heh, i wonder if they kept the pics? I'm almost willing to bet money that at least one employee put them on a flash drive and took them home without telling anybody.

Quote
along with 250 selfies of "what appears to be the previous owner's manhood".
Wahahaha! 250 cocks from 20 phones?! Does that mean the average guy takes 12.5 pictures of his own dick? Maybe they were gifts sent to the previous owners from other guys? (See attached motivator)
Aaand that's why I don't take selfies... I actually try to avoid use the phone when I'm in the bathroom, unless there is nothing that I could embarrasses me in any way xD.
Aaaaaaaand yeah. This laptop is going to the fire pit, then is going to be crushed into it smaller possible portion and then, burned again... NOTHING is going to be stracted from this one... I just hope that my family doesn't try to extract information from the laptop that I left in my old house... Or they will fine reaaally  weird things about me :V.......

Offline darklok

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Re: The news article discussion topic
« Reply #5 on: November 18, 2014, 10:22:08 PM »
A friend sent me this, a man stabbed with the Master Sword form The Legend of Zelda... And I couldn't stop laughing while reading it xDD.
http://www.independent.co.uk/news/weird-news/man-stabbed-with-legend-of-zelda-master-sword-in-serious-condition-9167520.html

Quote
The ex-husband was taken to hospital following the altercation, but not before he, in true Zelda fashion, smashed a pot (a flower pot, over the head of Thompson).
That last part was perfect xDDD.

Offline Serika

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Re: The news article discussion topic
« Reply #6 on: November 18, 2014, 11:36:41 PM »
On the internet you're only as smrt as your spell checker.

Offline Serika

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Re: The news article discussion topic
« Reply #7 on: February 04, 2015, 12:02:11 PM »
US senator questions forcing food workers to wash hands
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-us-canada-31127704

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A US senator has suggested that restaurants should not have to make their employees wash their hands after toilet visits.

Welcome to Thom's Diner, where the fries are crispy and diarrhea is on the house (And on our hands!) You'll love our delicious ass-to-mouth hamburgers, made with fresh dick cheese and finger lickin' good! We'll toss your salad with the same fingers we toss our balls while shaking the last few drops off. Remember, if it's not stomach cramps it's not Thom's!
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Offline FallenStar

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Re: The news article discussion topic
« Reply #8 on: February 04, 2015, 12:57:34 PM »
Of course... another stupid ass Republican making another stupid ass comment. Gee, where have we heard THAT before?  Seriously, why the hell are these asshats allowed in Congress and worse... WHY THE FUCK ARE PEOPLE STILL VOTING FOR THEM?! God damn 'Muricans are fucking brainwashed, I swear...   :censored: :death:
Welp... I'm fucked...

Offline Serika

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Re: The news article discussion topic
« Reply #9 on: February 20, 2015, 03:05:01 PM »
Canadian MP blames tight underpants for exit from parliament
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-us-canada-31547073

I thought these guys were supposed to have lots of money, or at least enough so that he doesn't have to buy kid sized tightey whiteys. I mean, isn't it worth spending the extra penny if it means not getting caught in your banana hammock all the time? I don't know what he's got his panties in a wad about when the working class is willing to pay for a comfortable fruit bag. :lol:
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Offline FallenStar

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Re: The news article discussion topic
« Reply #10 on: February 20, 2015, 04:02:10 PM »
I came into this topic expecting to rant about why the hell political figures would even care whether one of their own was wearing kiddy underwear and why they would fire him for it.


I am now disappoint. Thanks a LUMP, Serika.   :lol:
Welp... I'm fucked...

Offline Serika

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Re: The news article discussion topic
« Reply #11 on: March 10, 2015, 02:05:19 AM »
Apple Watch prices and apps revealed
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/technology-31794823

Quote
Apple's smartwatch collection will range in price from $349 to $17,000

Nothing sick or funny or bizarre about this story but the price of these watches got me thinking about something. This is a LOT of money to be wearing around your wrist on a daily basis. Even if you get the most basic model that still breaks the Christmas budget for most people.

Now... what if you purchased a really nice smartwatch and something happened to it? Let's say you're having dinner at a nice restaurant somewhere and the disgruntled chef decides to rub his hairy balls all over your food. You get a bad stomach cramp and run over to the bathroom, where you sit on the toilet and take the biggest, foulest, smelliest diarrhea dump of your life. You stand up and wipe when it's over, but little do you know that your $17,000 watch has come loose, and when you reach out to flush it drops right in the soup.

Okay, so it's far more likely you just smack it against something by accident and break the dumb thing but it's big bucks down the drain either way. Call me Scrooge but i think i'll just stick with the cheap watches and spend my money on my desktop. :lol:
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Offline Serika

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Re: The news article discussion topic
« Reply #12 on: May 21, 2015, 04:00:19 PM »
Toilet instructions for armed police at US Capitol
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-us-canada-32832466

Oh dear... The police who guard the capital building keep leaving their guns in the bathroom. What good does having a metal detector at the front door do if you can just arm yourself IN THE BATHROOM? All of the "important" people in the capital are absolutely furious too, so now the cops are getting suspended and even fired for this.

To be fair though, this sounds like something *I* would do. I get distracted so easily that i would probably leave my head behind if it were detachable. xD

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"We are now providing additional training on what to do when you have to go to the bathroom,"
Pfft, haha! Let's hope they're fully potty trained soon, we don't want any 'accidents' in our nation's capital. :lol:
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Offline FallenStar

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Re: The news article discussion topic
« Reply #13 on: July 04, 2015, 12:48:57 PM »
http://www.cnn.com/2015/07/04/us/texas-alligator-attack/index.html

Give this guy a Darwin award.  Seriously, Texas, again? Proven as the stupidest state this side of the planet? Yeah, that sounds about right.   :lol:
Welp... I'm fucked...

Offline Serika

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Re: The news article discussion topic
« Reply #14 on: July 04, 2015, 01:14:51 PM »
Darwin Award? Most definitely. I would expect to see this tough guy in Wendy Northcutt's next book. Just to be fair though-

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Woodward had recently moved to the area from St. Louis

Yeah, we can't pin it on Texas THIS time, but there's always tomorrow. :lol:

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he said 'blank the alligators' and jumped in to the water and almost immediately yelled for help
Okay guys, 1+1 equals... For every action, cause and effect, ect... Yes i'm going to be a jerk about this and laugh. If it were some dumb kid doing this i might be upset but at 28 he should have known better. :p
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