Author Topic: What is so appealing?  (Read 5285 times)

Offline CardboardBox

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What is so appealing?
« on: February 05, 2012, 08:14:59 PM »
I am probably going to sound like I'm bashing you, but I'd really like to see if someone can talk me out of the way I think.
Also, I'm here to prove that posting restrictions don't suck too much to repel someone away from this forum. :P

I have a problem that I just never saw as a problem: I have no awareness of liking sex. It doesn't help that I'm a woman. I don't masturbate because touching myself there with my hands just... in a physical sense, seems dirty. I live with my parents, and I value that privilege, so I'm not going to be hoarding and hiding sex toys out of paranoia and my parents' watchful eye (at least I have my own computer, though).

I was raised with Christian roots, though I myself am (although shamefully) not as dedicated as my family members. Growing up, my "friends" all matured before I did, and the people I hung out with the most were the most embarrassed to be around me. I went from that Catholic school to a high school with a supposed reputation of, well, borderline delinquents (for lack of a gentler term; although this is the time I made real friends). I have always associated the idea of sex with people I disrespected: jocks, partiers, rapists, alcoholics, people with no responsibility. I'm well aware of protected sex, but the fact that you have to do something artificial to enjoy sex means you're not doing what it was naturally meant for: impregnating women. At least, that's how I see it. Through all of high school (after never dating anyone), I believed I didn't need sex to be happy. I still firmly believe that I, alone, don't need to directly invoke sexual pleasure on myself to be "happy."

And then I met my current boyfriend. So then that was a problem.

Surely, I thought, I could cave once or twice in my life to make him happy. I don't really need my virginity (so long as the person I love gets it), and despite being Christian, I think it's in humanity's best interest that people unfit to be parents to their best to avoid troubling children (or more specifically, I should never be a mother), so I'm open to the idea of protection or birth control. What's so bad about any of that?

But then I hear stories/statistics such as that people have sex every year or month or week or more often than that and I'm like... no, that doesn't sound appealing at all.

I could almost go as far as saying I dislike sex. The idea of it, of course, enjoying my virginity and all. I hate when people cram down my throat "everybody does it, it's natural." It goes back to, if it's natural, why did man feel the need to make condoms and birth control? The only thing I see natural about it is if you want children. And I really don't want children. I feel like, if I give into sex, I'm giving up myself. I'm becoming those people I hated when I was younger. I'm becoming a hypocrite. I'm just another horny body controlled by seemingly useless sexual desires that I have, for so long, believed to be unnecessary. I hate that idea so much.

I hate that I'm being told I'm wrong just because "everybody is doing it."

I dislike the argument that "everybody needs sex," because I really feel like I don't. I have wondered, however... am I ever aroused without realizing it? I've had a... condition for almost a decade that I've believed was a bizarre bladder problem until, well, recently. I don't want to get into detail if no one wants to hear about it... but this is a female wetting and sexual forum, so maybe I'm thinking backwards. ;P

Why is a happy virgin here? My dear boyfriend linked me to this place because he's into this subject. I've also had a mild interest in watching desperate Sims when I played it, so it doesn't seem like a bad place to lurk... I am really trying to find out if I can... feel anything for his sake. I guess this doubles as an introduction.

That last part was kind of a tangent...

tl;dr: Is sex really a necessary thing, or are we just socially convinced that it is because "everyone is doing it?" Are there people who have no real desire whatsoever...? And I just want to know what drives people to do it so frequently, because once it becomes routine, it seems like it stops being special in my eyes.

Sorry, I just typed this up impulsively... it goes against everything I believe in not to rewrite something this long, but... I had just watched a TV show with a sex anorexic and felt compelled to finally make a post.

And... I don't want to pay for a therapist if I don't have do... ;>_>

Offline Serika

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Re: What is so appealing?
« Reply #1 on: February 05, 2012, 09:57:58 PM »
Welcome to animegirldesp, and don't worry about upsetting anyone with this topic. This board gets the least amount of activity on the forum, but you should get one or two replies at least.

Disclaimer: I may act like i'm smart but i'm actually a total idiot. :p

I hate that I'm being told I'm wrong just because "everybody is doing it."

It sounds like your friends put you under a lot of pressure. If so, that could be the main problem here. Sex and masturbation become tedious and dull if you do it just to be popular, or impress someone. Certainly, the fact that everyone else does it isn't a good reason in itself to do it. The best reason to have sex is for YOU to be happy, and it's not going to be much fun unless you want it to be.

I remember i wanted to masturbate as a teenager just to see what it was like. I was never able to cum, no matter what. It wasn't until i was 18 and was enjoying thoughts of holding and pee games that i was able to do this. After that i knew what i liked, and that's when it became an enjoyable activity. Before then it wasn't fun at all.

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I have always associated the idea of sex with people I disrespected: jocks, partiers, rapists, alcoholics, people with no responsibility.

These people have sex, but they're not the only people who have sex. They're just the most vocal about doing so. You can associate rudeness with these people, but it will be harder to pin sex on them if you find people who are nice and that you do respect, who also have sex.

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I feel like, if I give into sex, I'm giving up myself. I'm becoming those people I hated when I was younger. I'm becoming a hypocrite. I'm just another horny body controlled by seemingly useless sexual desires that I have, for so long, believed to be unnecessary. I hate that idea so much.

This is the one thing i really want to convince you you're wrong about. Wanting to be happy, or in your case wanting to understand yourself better, is not hypocritical. You can change you mind on something after learning more about it. If you decide that sex is okay and people aren't bad for wanting it you're not giving up on yourself, the only thing you're giving up on is hating sex.

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I have wondered, however... am I ever aroused without realizing it? I've had a... condition for almost a decade that I've believed was a bizarre bladder problem until, well, recently. I don't want to get into detail if no one wants to hear about it... but this is a female wetting and sexual forum, so maybe I'm thinking backwards. ;P

Well, yeah. If you're like some of us then your sexual desire is connected to your interest in holding and wetting. Enjoying sex will probably involve these in one way or another. You could be bursting, your boyfriend could be bursting, or maybe both of you at the same time.

I guess the best place to start would be to just think about having an extremely full bladder while masturbating. The results might be shocking. :D
On the internet you're only as smrt as your spell checker.

Offline Drying

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Re: What is so appealing?
« Reply #2 on: February 06, 2012, 06:02:44 PM »
Disclaimer: I may act like i'm smart but i'm actually a total idiot. :p
Of course this has to be quoted at least once ;)

Oh and I'm actually quite smart, but only when working with computers  :whistling:

As to the topic, I think you should just think about what you want.
If you are completely happy without sex, then why would you do it?
You should not let your boyfriend or your environment force you into anything you don't want.

It seems like you don't have feel any (or many) physical desires, but you mostly associate bad emotions to sex...
And that can be fixed, if you want it to be. But I suppose you will need professional help there. Or at least help from smart people ;)

Sex is natural, and everyone does it, but you are free not to join everyone.
It is not just physical. It is a very social thing and can bring you very close together as a couple.

Ok probably none of this made sense so it's probably best to just ignore it. Getting sleepy.  :yawn: