This is standard fare.
You make a wish and the following poster grants it.... BUT WAIT! In so doing, s/he corrupts it so it's not REALLY what you want in the first place! :tongue_smilie:
I shall start:
I wish I had a banana.
FallenStar
You get a banana, but it's so old and moldy that you don't even want to look at it.
I wish I had a life.
You are placed as the commanding military officer in charge of the New People's Republic of the Former Arab States. The US bombs the shit out you berfore you even get to your desk for, um, any reason will do, and annexes all your oil. You are put in Abu Ghraib and sexually assaulted by a bad tempered goat.
I wish that I lived in a rent-free apartment with three easygoing cute and lovable nudist lightly-nymphomanic bisexual 18-year-old girls who think I'm hot, don't like other men, and who love to cook and clean and fuck in the shower.
Wow... I really wish that...
You do have three easygoing cute and lovable nudist lightly-nymphomanic bisexual 18-year-old girls who think you're hot, don't like other men, and who love to cook and clean and fuck in the shower. However, they get so Jelous of eachother that they all end up killing eachother in a battle over you, and when you try and stop it, they kill you as well.
I wish I ruled the world.
Quote from: mipmixerI wish I ruled the world.
Sure, but you know what they say! Good help is hard to find, and you realize this quickly. Your generals, soldiers, ministers, and all your other followers are so incompetent that your position (emperor) has no real power. You might as well be an ordinary citizen.
I wish i had long pink hair just like steel angel Kurumi. :lol:
Fine. You do have long pink hair, but you get beat up by inbred southerners in Texas one day because they think your a "Homesexil"
(Chill out, you two. Lets just leave it at that.)
Granted. He becomes the nicest guy in the world, but now you can't tell if he's sincere or not.
I wish someone would hurry and finish fansubbing Moetan.
Just a minute ago a deeply devoted fan finished fansubbing Moetan, but these subs are in a totally unfamiliar language!
I wish I was a loli.
Wish Granted!
BUT WAIT!
Now that you're a loli and now that you're on DesperateAnimeGirls.com, you find that you now have hundreds of stalkers... not least being Serika and Anya... and Anime Lover... and.. and...
You better run, little girl! :p
I wish my pants didn't get bleach on them.... =[
FallenStar
Wish granted. You no longer get Bleach on your pants because you can't find any of them.
I wish more people joined my RPG.
Granted!
But wait!
Uh-oh...
Now you have 100 people in your RPG, and they post so fast that you can't keep it and it starts to spiral out of control until you go insane and jump off a cliff, trying to become AN hero.
:S Whoops.
I wish... I wish... I wish my torrent of "Cars" didn't have freakin' GERMAN subs... x_x
FallenStar
Granted. The subs are now in Esperanto.
I wish I had a million dollars.
You have a million bucks but you find out that it's stolen money from a drug cartel in Colombia and the entire cartel shows up, taks back their money, kills all the people you've ever loved in front of you and then cuts of your ball sack... but they won't grant you death, oh no... they want you to suffer... by forcing you to become a back-up dancer for the Backstreet Boys.
I wish I had psychic powers.
granted, now you can sense every single thought that everyone has and they are blairing in your head, annoying the heck out of you :lol:
I wish i had a ,um, hmm....
oh I wish i was an oscar mayer weiner :stupid:
Granted. You are turned into an Oscar Meiyer Weiner and then chewed to death.
I wish my favorite shows put out FD episodes.
You do, but they all dump you the instant they figure out you're cheating on them with 199,999,999 other women.
I wish all my favorite shows put out Female Desperation episodes.
Granted.
They now show lots and lots of Females Desperate for boyfriends...
Nice Job.
I wish I had a good cheat device that would enable me to protect Natayla on Goldeneye 007
FallenStar
Granted - now you have such a device, but you don't know its activation code!
I wish I had the power to control the flow of time!
Granted! But you go back in time and accidentally alter history so you were never born!
I wish I was GOD!
You actually WAS a god, but it was so long ago that last of your followers died long before first ice age and your godly powers faded away...
I wish I could take back my wish for a little sister that I made ten years ago T.T
They do, but not when you're around.
I wish I had a donut.
You have a donut, in fact, the best donut in the world - but you never get another, and the memory of the donutty-goodness haunts you for the rest of your life, slowly driving you mad.
I wish that I mysteriously had on-demand access to a television channel showing 24/7 female peeing and desperation.
You now have access to the cable channel, however it's now the only channel you get. And with that being the only thing to watch, you grow bored of the fetish.
I wish I could turn invisible.
Great. You're invisible. Things are great for a while, that is until the temptation to rob a bank so you don't have to work gets the best of you. Halfway through the perfect plan you sneeze and POW, you're visible again. Bad timing, too as it turns out every cop in the city had just walked in to cash their paychecks. Too bad invisibility can't break you outta handcuffs. Long story short, your cellmate Bubba (or Betty as he tells you to call him) wished for infrared vision... This does not end well for you.
I wish I could fly. Ya know, without wings and stuff, that seems cumbersome.
Granted, you can fly... in coach class on an aeroplane.
too obvious an answer? I'll vary it:
Granted! You soar up into the air, and get lung-damage on your very first flight from the high-altitude ultra-cold air and microscopic ice crystals. You die horribly.
I wish I wasn't a slave to my libido. Seriously! I have other things to do!
Quote from: ruffrydaz on September 14, 2007, 12:06:36 AM
I wish I could fly. Ya know, without wings and stuff, that seems cumbersome.
Granted! Now you can fly just like Suki Nihon, by using your mana to lift you up.
But, hang on...
Now you have the WORST time landing, again, just like Suki and you wind up breaking your arm on touch down. Nice job! Now you can't focus your mana and now you can't fly again! >_<!
I wish I had a car that didn't spew Carbon Dioxide all over the damn place... -_-;
IFS
Wish granted! But ur car will emit nastier carbon monoxide instead!! :icon_twisted:
I wish I have another 3 wishes.....
to popo: Done! You now have 3 more wishes but you find out that you must personally hand them over to George Bush... nice going, buddy.
to mysterious1: Poof! You are now no longer a slave to your libido, but you can't get it up at all anymore. Hope you like Viagra...
I wish that I was extremely good-looking, smooth, charming, wealthy, and was very good in bed with regard to women.
Quote from: EFROdian on September 19, 2007, 12:11:30 AM
I wish that I was extremely good-looking, smooth, charming, wealthy, and was very good in bed with regard to women.
POOF! Wish... Granted!
But now you're totally gay for men... oops... =[
I wish I did NOT have allergies... =.=;
FallenStar
Quote from: FallenStar on September 19, 2007, 12:26:44 AM
I wish I did NOT have allergies... =.=;
Wish granted! You no longer have to worry about allergies ever again!
Instead.... you've got AIDS. AND syphilis. AND herpes.
Ouch.
I wish I had some nice new shoes...
Quote from: Mydnyght on September 19, 2007, 03:53:24 AM
Wish granted! You no longer have to worry about allergies ever again!
Instead.... you've got AIDS. AND syphilis. AND herpes.
Oh, fuck you, Internet. Fuck you.
...
Wait, that's how I got AIDS in the first place. Never mind. :lol:
QuoteI wish I had some nice new shoes...
Granted! But wait... now you have severe pain in your feet caused by *le gasp* DIABEETUS and you make the stupid decision to purchase Steel-Toe shoes so that... by the time one month goes by, your feet hurt so much they have to be amputated and you have to go around in a wheelchair. Nice Job! :thumbup1:
I wish for all world hunger to have ended 5 years ago...
FallenStar
Done, but the fact that you changed the timeline has horrible consequences. Never mind all that butterfly effect shit and "chaos theory" somehow applying to such situations as Hollywood seems to think that it does. The actual temporal shockwaves from your radical alteration of history rack the planet and kill everyone and almost everything. The heating caused by the geothermal friction evaporates half the oceans only after the earthquakes and tsunami have devastated all the world's structures. The runaway global heating causes greenhouse times 1,000,000 and even in the worldwide moist atmosphere fires lay waste to that which remained.
Wow.
Total destruction from a single wish - talk about the paving stones on the road to hell!
Luckily I got two wishes (due to clerical error), and used one of mine to wish it all back! Phew.
Unluckily, I used my other wish to wish that time travel could be safe...
Granted. Timetravel is safe because it is now impossible.
I wish I had the power to grant myself wishes anytime I wanted.
Granted. You no longer care about anything enough to make a wish about it.
I wish I could fly.
Quote from: mipmixer on September 23, 2007, 10:12:28 AM
Granted. Timetravel is safe because it is now impossible.
That's what I would've done too, dude.
Quote from: Taiki Saruwatari on September 23, 2007, 10:16:35 AM
I wish I could fly.
Granted. You can fly... you just can't descend and land. You keep flying up... and up... and up...
until the atmosphere gets so thin, the pressure from within your body causes you to explode to bits.
Ouch. And ew.
I wish I could read people's minds...
Quote from: Mydnyght on September 23, 2007, 10:39:08 AM
I wish I could read people's minds...
Granted, but... oh wait... now you get everyone's thoughts all the time in your mind... Including an old woman's thoughts on how to attract her husband's attention by taking a sexy seductive picture... and a really really FAT man's attempt to take a dump and his glance into the toilet... >_<
I wish my internet didn't flicker on and off during the slightest thunderstorm... -_-;
FallenStar
Now you wish you weren't a fish 'cause you got caught and served on a dish.
I wish that I could get good translations of all the FD manga on nyou2.
Granted!
But now the translators are demanding $20 in exchange for every word translated! Hope you've saved up some major moola!
I wish I was God.
Quote from: EFROdian on September 24, 2007, 11:55:03 PM
Granted!
But now the translators are demanding $20 in exchange for every word translated! Hope you've saved up some major moola!
I wish I was God.
Wish Granted! But, oh wait... now you have to solve everyone... and I MEAN EVERYONE's problems which leaves you with no time to have fun with your powers.... That, plus the fact that no one believes in you except religious fanatics that murder 1000s of people in your name....
Nice job.
I wish I had a hamburger right now....
FallenStar
You do. But the ingredients are so rotten there's no way you'll eat it.
I wish I had control over women peeing.
Wish granted! However, u need to loading pee.exe software all the times to access this ability! By the time of complete loading the software, their pee are already finished and nothing can be done.
I wish I can sleep only 3 hours a day!
Poof, granted. You can now cut open people's heads, remove their brains, and just by looking at their cranial folds tell what they were thinking...you know...before you removed their brains. I hope you like jail.
I wish I was Spider-Man.
*poof!* you become spider-man, but after feeling guilty over people dying, you end it all with a can of "Spydr-b-ded" bug spray.
I wish I were God
Granted! Now you are god. The god of DANCE!
Meet some of your new angels. :police: :red_indian: :cowboy:
I wish the 2 sexes in this world were "female" and "futanari".
Wish granted. However you vanish from existence since you aren't either one of those.
I wish I had super-speed.
Granted! You now have Super Speed!
But now, you can't stop, so you keep running and running until the end of time and, in fact, you are the cause of the universe's destruction because you go so far so fast that it warps space time into a powerful anomaly that undoes the fabric of the universe and destroys us all. Sweet. :lol:
I wish some of my RP characters were real.
FallenStar
Granted. But they live on some other planet and have no bearing on your life.
I wish I could get my fanfics done without getting bored.
Wish granted!
But now... your fics are like:
"He sad toch me. her vagnia wuz hawt. she sqirted come."
I wish I had a ship to get to the planet where my RP characters live.
FallenStar
Wish Granted!
However... The trip is a one way sojourn across the stars and you're seated next to several alien speices that smell of beet root and they lost your luggage.
I wish, I wish, I hadn't killed that fish.
Wish granted!
But wait.... youtube STILL won't carry them due to ToS issues. And none of the torrent sites have them listed too due to their unpopularness. =[
I wish I could live in the mountains.
FallenStar
Fine. But there's not much to do at the top of mount everest, and you freeze to death.
I wish that my girlfriend was into FD.
Granted: But when you fire them, the trigger gets stuck and you drop the gun, still firing. Then it shoots you in the leg and you end up in the hospital (at least i didn't kill you :gunsmilie:)
I wish i was a calculator of love
Quote from: ghost2431 on November 14, 2007, 05:40:31 AM
Granted: But when you fire them, the trigger gets stuck and you drop the gun, still firing. Then it shoots you in the leg and you end up in the hospital (at least i didn't kill you :gunsmilie:)
I wish i was a calculator of love
Wish granted. Unfortunatly, I don't even understand what you were wishing for. You get a bunch of garbaled nonsense.
I wish that I could draw well.
GRANTED: but you draw a pic of some naked chick and post it on the net and she has you killed by the mafia
I wish I could hang smilies :hang:
I wish I could fill people's bladders just by thinking about it >=D
granted but you drown in perviness :clap: :clap: :clap:
I wish Suki Nihon was in my bed now
Quote from: ghost2431 on December 20, 2007, 10:48:44 PM
granted but you drown in perviness :clap: :clap: :clap:
I wish Suki Nihon was in my bed now
Wish granted! Oh, but wait... Now you get Nanyo and Sashi and Mizu all thrown in at the same time and Nanyo ties you up and whips you for being a "bad boy/girl", then fucks your brains out over and over and over and over again until you're too tired to even look at Suki... :lol:
I wish I had a cure for my allergies... -_-;
FallenStar
Your wish is granted. You can now cure your allergies by ingesting antifreeze.
I wish I could jump 3 miles at a time.
Granted, but the Hulk punches you for stealing his abilities. :'3
I wish Christmas was tomorrow so I can play with mah new games. D':
Somehow, December 22 through 24 this year all disappeared.
Oh and your house burned during the night. You and your family barely got out in time.
I wish I had more time to use as I please.