This topic answers the basic question listed as the topic title:
What is Female Desperation?
Answer: Well, put simply, Female Desperation is a state of being when a girl or a woman is desperate to pee.
Why is this so arousing to both men and women?
For women, it's partly because a full bladder can press down on their vagina which can be pleasurable for them; Also, some women say that they get a lot of pleasure from feeling things from their urethra when they're desperate or actually peeing; some women even get a thrill from peeing in their clothes, probably because they like being wet
For men, there's also the idea of being able to control the woman (purely in a sexual manner - which some woman also like)
For me, personally, I like the reactions of a girl who really needs to pee badly and I do like taking control and making her wet herself...
The FallenStar Approaches.
Female Desperation is just the state of being in which the girl is desperate to pee, whether or not it's forced or not.
It would be helpful if you read the actual line, my friend. :P
FallenStar
I've had many great experiences with females in this situation - the feeling of a full bladder resting on what is considered the g-spot is nicem even better when the bladder is lightly pressed. The fuller the bladder the better.
While I do agree that sometimes it's arrousing to be able to control a woman in that sort of way, I belive that situational female desperation is better... although I guess it depends on the type of girl too. If it's a strong-minded, independent type of girl, then I like the fact that I'm in control for once, wheras if it is a shy, bashful type of girl, then I like to actually prefer not to be in corntrol. Then again, sometimes it's best to just let nature take its course. What do you think guys? Does it sometimes depend on the girl or the situation or even your own mood? Or is it pretty much the same for every girl and situation?
I think it mostly depends on the girl. But, I don't quite like the idea of controlling someone. I prefer to do it the "polite" way.
What I like the most is when a girl is desperate to pee and when she wets herself (I love pantyhose and tight sport clothes !). I also like when she starts crying after she started to pee... :drool:
Sounds like you and a bunch of members here could really get along together.
Although I have no personal experiences with it (A.) I'm not a girl. (B.) I haven't had a girlfriend in many years and never was confident enough to actually try anything, I'm as much into the denial aspect as anyone...
That's why I proclaim myself: Forced Female Desperation Fan/Expert xD
FallenStar
Quote from: FallenStar on October 04, 2007, 09:46:50 PM
Although I have no personal experiences with it (A.) I'm not a girl. (B.) I haven't had a girlfriend in many years and never was confident enough to actually try anything, I'm as much into the denial aspect as anyone...
I could say the same about myself, FS. Actually, I don't think I've EVER had a girlfriend yet...
And thorkity.... you've wet your pants 34 times?... Oh my... ^_^
Quote from: thorkity on October 05, 2007, 01:26:28 AM
Quote from: Mydnyght on October 04, 2007, 10:46:04 PM
Quote from: FallenStar on October 04, 2007, 09:46:50 PM
Although I have no personal experiences with it (A.) I'm not a girl. (B.) I haven't had a girlfriend in many years and never was confident enough to actually try anything, I'm as much into the denial aspect as anyone...
I could say the same about myself, FS. Actually, I don't think I've EVER had a girlfriend yet...
And thorkity.... you've wet your pants 34 times?... Oh my... ^_^
More than that, those are the number of accidents i've had when deliberately trying to race the clock.
Wow! At least you were having fun doing that, right?
on the topic of men
i think they like it a ton because it is just something of a mega-fetish
there are somethings here and there that turn you on but desperation and pissing have a serious reputation
One thing I've definately noticed is that the size of a girl has nothing to do with the size of her bladder or how long she can hold it.
I think the control-aproach is quite right.
If the girl has lost control it is easier for men to take it.
the Woman just can't do anything against it.
To me the point where a girl loses control is the most thrilling moment, either by force, by fear or even on purpose (whereas the last point is not as hot as the others). Its like an orgasm and the desperation before can be compared with some kind of sex or stimulation.
But in the end I really cant`t explain why it turns me on....but it`s much hotter than a nude woman
This appears to be a very interesting topic/discussion. I am new to the boards. Desperation is best when it happens on its own. I have never had the experience of taking control of a woman and making her wet herself, but I would definitely be willing to do that if the situation presented itself.
For me its about control.. its about seeing a girl who is trying to control herself against something which is ultimately uncontrollable...
Her bladder can hold no more urine.. it swollen to its very limit... but there is nowhere she can urinate... So she tries to control it for as long as she can using all her willpower and bladder control to prevent the by now powerful urge from overwhelming her ..
Eventually her will and bladder control is not enough to resist the by now overwhelming urination reflex and the first dribble runs down her urethra and emerges from between her labia and dribbles down them...
Even at this stage she frantically uses all her self control to cut it off.. and it stops for a while.. shaking and sweating trying to resist her body... but then another powerful urge overtakes her, rising and rising.. she can't contain it, the pressure is too much.. an explosive spurt bursts out.. again she clenches hard and cuts it off ...
But now she is truly at her limit and again she spurts .. she is trying to hold it in with all her might but this time the flow continues.. it falters a couple of times as she tries to clench it off but she cant .. she sobs as she is overwhelmed...
Very detailed account. I like the progression of events that you laid out as the woman loses control, but I wouldn't want to be controlling her unless she wanted me to and the situation was right.
The look in her eyes, the trembling in her tense, exhausted leg and bladder muscles, her last desperate attempts to jam her hands between her legs, double over, cross her legs, or doing a pee-pee dance are what makes it very arousing for me. Unfortunately, I have never been in a situation where I have seen a woman have an accident, but I have seen a few girls pretty desperate for a pee before. It never loses its effect
i have to agree with you bustin, desperation is a little S/M, and i do love it, but one of the best is being locked out or tied up for me
I like it when girls freely hold there pee and then let it flow when they want
Quote from: doggy on February 02, 2008, 08:52:01 PM
Quote from: FallenStar on June 21, 2007, 07:38:41 PM
This topic answers the basic question listed as the topic title:
What is Female Desperation?
Answer: Well, put simply, Female Desperation is a state of being when a girl or a woman is desperate to pee.
Why is this so arousing to both men and women?
For women, it's partly because a full bladder can press down on their vagina which can be pleasurable for them; Also, some women say that they get a lot of pleasure from feeling things from their urethra when they're desperate or actually peeing; some women even get a thrill from peeing in their clothes, probably because they like being wet
For men, there's also the idea of being able to control the woman (purely in a sexual manner - which some woman also like)
For me, personally, I like the reactions of a girl who really needs to pee badly and I do like taking control and making her wet herself...
The FallenStar Approaches.
female desperation is when a girl is hobblibg around trying to find a place to expel her liquid gold
well yes and no, when a girl has to pee badly, and cant find a toilet or a toilet is unreachable, thats female desperation, you just named one of the most typical stages of that phase
is a situation of a girl who fall the control of your bladder and she have to pee with very urgence, but she wan`t stay in ridiculuos
What most interests me about this conversation is that it confirms something I've been studying for a couple of years now. My hypothesis is this: sexual fetishes are extremely specific, highly situational and share few consistencies even with very similar fetishes. That is to say, we all like female desperation. However, when each of us thinks of the ideal "female desperation" sequence, each of us would come up with a different ideal.
I think what makes drawing any broad-based conclusions about what makes this fetish pleasurable to its participants is that each of us is participating in a very slightly different fetish. Indeed, I've discovered that you could draw most fetishes like a multi-circled venn diagram, specialized to each person. Picture it with me: a big venn diagram (that's the thing with the overlapping circles for the uninitiated) representing female desperation. Each circle would represent a facet of the hobby: forced wetting, accidental wetting, deliberate wetting, fully clothed, partially clothed, fully nude, exhibitionist, voyeuristic, streams, small squirts, etc. Now, for each person the circles in this diagram are arranged differently. (For the rest of this paragraph I use myself as a hypothetical and self-contradictory example; this doesn't necessarily reflect my real preferences or wishes) Perhaps for me there's a big intersection of interest with deliberate wetting, partially clothed, voyeuristic, streams, etc. Maybe some of my circles don't touch at all. I might have no interest whatsoever in accidental wetting or fear wetting. Or, as a third possibility, I might be interested only in a certain combination. For example, maybe I don't care for accidental desperation wetting but accidental fear wetting turns me on. In fact, this could get very complicated when it turns out that I'm mildly turned on by plain ol' desperation, majorly turned on by fully clothed deliberate wetting, etc.
Put more simply, maybe I really really like wetting and someone else is only in it for the desperation. Maybe the whole thing is ruined for me if I can't see the outcome, but someone else gets majorly turned off by seeing that same outcome. Even though we call our fetish the same thing we're really engaging in a completely different fetish in the sense that it's predicated on something completely different. For example, maybe one person likes to force women to wet themselves due to the control aspects, while another prefers to watch shy girls get embarassed by an accident because the sense of privacy and violation of modesty is what turns them on the most.
My theory, then, is one of superfetishes. Somewhere in that tangled venn diagram of personal choices, moods, preferences, turn-offs, etc. there's a place where the most circles intersect to cause the most intense gratification. This is why, when properly in the mood, many porn surfers can describe a similar experience of searching endlessly through galleries of their favorite fetish and still wind up frustrated. The pictures may have stroked their fetishes, but they didn't hit the sweet spot of their superfetish, and sometimes the libido demands no less.
My remaining question then is this: why female desperation at all? It's no simple answer of liking control, or modesty, or embarrassment, or simple somatic stimulation of the female genitalia. Simply put, all, some and none of these apply to different connoisseurs of this fetish. For some reason, all of these people with very different reasons for their sexual fetishes condensed around female desperation as the object of their fetish, all for different reasons and all encompassing different tastes. All I know is that societal information transfer may have less to do with it than we might imagine; I know for a fact that I've been a fan of desperation since I was eight, when I first started masturbating. I would fantasize about it even then, and I have no idea why. It fascinates me.
So yeah, sorry this post went on so long. I've just always been fascinated by this type of conversation.
From the male perspective, it might have something to do with not only your possible control of the girl, but also the girls loss of control of herself.
Rewikitty said some interesting things, and I think those things are probably true.
What is the term when a woman relieves herself after desperation, with her pants off? Or is there no term that isn't obvious?
Quote from: knuclear200x on May 03, 2008, 10:25:08 PM
What is the term when a woman relieves herself after desperation, with her pants off? Or is there no term that isn't obvious?
I've never heard a real "term" for it, but I definitely prefer the woman to relieve herself after desperation. Accidents don't turn me on very much.
Love the build up, love seeing women who need to go and can't. I also like to roleplay dominant scenarios with my girl, and roleplay other types of situations, sometimes where its inconvienient to go, sometimes where I don't let her, and sometimes where she can't go at all for some reason or other. Sometimes we're ourselves, sometimes not, but either way, I always love it. As for the peeing, accidents don't turn me on.
yeah... the very 1st explanation is pretty correct... btw, i'm a female, and i find it pretty enjoyable... :$
Quote from: soccer388 on June 20, 2008, 08:37:47 AM
female desperation that ends in wetting is most definatly my favourite fetish
Definitely same for me. It's even more important than my tight-spandex clothes fetish and my barefeet sneakers fetish :drool: :blushing:
Female desperation is when a girl has to pee but has to hold it because there isn't a toilet nearby or they don't want to wet themselves.
i don't really have a reason. i came across this pic and i liked it. http://agnph.com/gallery/displayimage.php?pos=-9908 i don't like forced though
Why is this thread being flooded with random comments?
And on topic... There is nothing to say on-topic, really. Star, maybe you should refraze that post to give something to discuss?
I still don't really get why it's so nice for me, but it is. =D
But it does make sense for the women with the pressure.
edit: Stop... grammar time!
I'd say it's not about control, per se, although that can add to it, but rather that it's absolute taboo stemming from childhood. Wetting yourself is one of the carnal sins in the eyes of a parent when you're a kid, and since it was a bad thing then it translates into the taboo factor later in life. What's most wrong is most right... at least that's how I have always seen it.
Indeed, the What is It bit is not really discussable :blush:
I think the arousing bit comes partially from, indeed, the taboo, but also just because it all happens in the private parts of a woman (which somehow seem to attract men).
As for me personally, I don't really like the forced bit, for moral reasons. (You can of course say that the female in question is ok with it, but then it's not forced, more like peeing on purpose). Seeing a girl hopping around, waiting and watching, hoping for that little (big :clap:) wet patch... lovely!
i mainly love the embarassment the girl gets from wetting herself. plus fantasizing about getting those clothes from her and trying them on to have her pee on u is really nice :drool:
Mmmmm. It was interesting to read all of your ideas.
I'm female myself and I just enjoy desperation in general. Female or male. I also don't mind whether this ends in a wetting or not, but I don't like... Public humiliation.
I'm not sure why I like it, but I certainly do not find the need to urinate myself arousing at all. I can imagine it maybe having something to do with the location of the bladder and the vagina etc.
The desperation is cool and all, but i more prefer the fact that the girl is wet afterwords. I always took my ex 4wheeling and purposfully hit as many puddles as possible jus to soak her lol. id always have a change of clothes for her and such, but i enjoy the fast that she is soaked and holding onto me as to not fall off teh 4wheeler (also it was not forced, as she always asked me to take her 4wheeling).
Female desperation is kind of self-expalanatory as long as you know that it has something to with having to pee (and not that she is thirsty or horny). I like watching movies or photos which real-life female desperation, and if wetting is involved I prefer that the woman pees herself because she doesn't have a choice. In other words, I like "accidents" and deliberate wettings, as someone else posted above.
I am turned on by all sorts of female desperation as long as it follows the above rules. I like to see women with full, bulging bladders, or women with wet pants. I also like to see pantless women who are peeing a full stream onto the floor.
I like to make myself desperate to pee, but then that wouldn't be female desperation, would it?
I am fascinated by the differences between men and women when it comes to full bladders. You might be thinking, "well, duh of course there's a difference...the plumbing is different," but what I really mean is that when a woman pees she must push to get started while men relax to get started. Pretty big difference, huh? So, when a woman is holding, she is resisting that urge to "push," and when men are holding they resist that urge to relax, or in other words they clench up. I am also interested in the difference that penis makes. Well, think about it...it just seems like there is farther for the pee to travel in a man than in a woman, and so there are more chances to clench tight and hold it back so one doesn't pee themselves.
Does this mean that a man can hold his bladder better than a woman can? The evidence seems to indicate yes, but then I've read about a lot of women who can hold their full bladder far longer than I can.
Gushinator
I wonder what a girl would say if you asked her if she was going to wet herself.... *SMACK*
@firrat: Honestly if I knew someone or not if I was -that- desperate to go to the bathroom and it was obviouse I'd probably answer honestly and either say "Yes" or "No".
I -really- love being desperate. There's just something about feeling that pressure down there or feeling myself have a little accident and leak in my panties. My real fetish is wetting things though.. I know it's 'bad' but it feels so nice.
It is that point where the annoyance becomes the problem: When the struggle becomes the focus - where the inability to go and the awareness of the surroundings
Well I think its called desperation when a girl realises that she could be in a very embarrasing situation and this is nearly inevitable... feeling time's running out and the pressure for hold it inside (whatever it is) is reching its limit.
Generally speaking it could be desperation because the meal is burning. Haha
I think there's an important point lurking somewhere in this thread - there's a distinction between needing to pee and being desperate.
My take on female desperation has always been that actual desperation, as opposed to just needing to pee, happens only when the girl is forced by the urge to pee into doing something she doesn't want to do. This would include things like the pee dance, grabbing herself, wetting herself, peeing outside and so on. The fact that she's forced into a desperate act by her urge to relieve herself defines desperation to me.
drw
I agree with all of the above, in the sense that regular wetting doesnt really cut it - there is a definite distinction here between regular just plain wetting and an actual desp situation. without the whole urgency - it really bears nothing to me.
Female desperation before wetting is essential in my opinion.
When I first got into this fetish, any wetting video would do it for me. But now, I do prefer the whole package, the initial desperation, the squriming and crotch holding, the squriting and eventual wetting.
A desperation video ending in a squat with not even a spot on the panties is a waste in my opinion!
I would have to agree, wetpantsboy. The wetting part is nice, and I actually prefer that over the desperation, but it really needs the whole package if you want it to be complete.
I mean, without the desperation, it's essentially some person who decided to piss themselves. Whooopdie-doo.
Also, it IS a shame when you can't even tell that they wet themselves! All of that desperation, all of that waiting, and FINALLY you get to the explosion...they squat down and make a puddle. ARGH! That just doesn't do it for me. In my opinion, it is SO much better if you can actually see the damage of all that waiting.
Quote from: hihia28 on June 03, 2009, 09:37:26 PM
i think it makes the girl look weak and defenseless and it makes you feel superior......and its hot the way she grabs her crotch like that.
:D I agree!
The crotch grab has always been good :D
Oddly enough, girls peeing, deliberate wetting and girls using a toilet...isnt hot.
Its only the desperation, the accident and embarassment that is the hot part.
dunno why?
Like others have said, there is a distinction between needing to pee and being desperate.
It is the idea that the girl is doing everything in her power to hold it in but she knows she is just putting off the inevitable.
That said, the whole bouncing, rocking back and forth, legs crossing and crotch squeezing is sometimes sexier than the actual wetting :)
when girls/women squirm and such is sometimes more erotic than the actual wetting but for me it's more the wetting themselves and having to deal with wet panties for the time it takes to get a new pair. When ur underwear are wet it feels wrong sometimes and knowing that the girl is suffering through that feeling turns me on... plus i got a panty fetish too so seeing wet panties really turn me on.
I always thought desperation was used oddly when refferring to this fetish as its ussually just used for a girl who really has to pee. the actual definition is "Having lost hope" (http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/desperate) which one would think would be better suited when they get to the breaking point and finally give in the urge and finally wet themselves.
Edit: Actually, looking at the other definitions on webster:
2: moved by despair
3: suffering extreme need or anxiety
4: involving extreme danger or possible disaster <a desperate situation>
5: of extreme intensity
The word actually fits quite well as every defnition can be used to describe at least one part of the fetish.
Its actually hard to explain the attraction to it. It's not the same as the...otherfetishes you see nowadays.
I agree with kingkaos. I like the desperation more than the actual wetting.
posts merged ~Ser
*Puts on nerdy glasses* Well, Female Desperation is defined as a person of the female sex who desperately needs to urinate or defecate. Personally, i prefer the scat half of the desperation. ^^
For me, I just get kinda turned on, no idea why though. =\
I have to admit . I tend to care more about the desperation part of a girl hold it than actually the wetting it self.
Man, making me think about it turns me on. Or should I say gets me aroused. :drool:
It's pleasing to see that others also prefer desperation to actual peeing or wetting, as I do myself. One very marked advantage of that particular interest, it seems to me, is that it's possible to encounter visible signs of desperation in real life, whereas it's extremely rare to see peeing. But one distinct disadvantage is that in specially-made peeing vids the desperation part is often either non-existent or extremely brief - the makers are anxious to get to what they see as the main business. That's one reason I like the Giga holding-on contest films so much. I would be pleased to hear of any other sources of lengthy displays of desperation.
You guys may have seen this before:
(http://img198.imageshack.us/img198/2626/fetishmapbig.th.gif) (http://img198.imageshack.us/i/fetishmapbig.gif/)
This is a road map of all the sexual fetishes explored by psychologist Katherine Gates. It's interesting to see an overall view of kinks.
I common theme I saw among a lot of fetishes is control. The lack of control, surrendering it, assuming it ... whether it be having someone wet their pants or dress up in a uniform there are varying degrees of vulnerability that provoke sexual arousal. I don't completely understand why control is so important though. What biological connection would see that a girl who's wetting her pants should arouse a guy? This connection forms in children at some young age, but I don't think anyone has any idea of what causes it.
More specifically ... Female desperation is pretty general. As this thread illustrates there are people who like to focus on different things. For some it's "holding" it that's most arousing, while for others it's more the actual wetting. I think the visible loss of control, or wetting, is more poignant.
Quote from: Dissident on September 16, 2009, 09:18:54 PMWhat biological connection would see that a girl who's wetting her pants should arouse a guy?
Wasn't it Havelock Ellis who suggested that the increasingly urgent buildup of desperation followed by the relief and release of peeing was identical to the increasingly urgent buildup of sexual arousal followed by the relief and release of orgasm, and therefore that's the link?
Quote from: benson1080 on June 12, 2009, 11:31:50 AM
Quote from: hihia28 on June 03, 2009, 09:37:26 PM
i think it makes the girl look weak and defenseless and it makes you feel superior......and its hot the way she grabs her crotch like that.
:D I agree!
The crotch grab has always been good :D
Oddly enough, girls peeing, deliberate wetting and girls using a toilet...isnt hot.
Its only the desperation, the accident and embarassment that is the hot part.
dunno why?
I have to fully agree with this. First of all, the crotch grab - I think it could be because this gesture really shows that the girl is willing to do anything to not wet just yet. Youtube has(/had) a video called something "Me and Naomi waiting for a taxi" - although there is little desperation shown, you can see a girl tightly holding her crotch twice, and that alone was enough to make me favourite it.
As for intentional wetting's lack of appeal - it just seems like exhibitionism to me. Just like a girl who proudly walks through a store and soaks herself while smiling wouldn't be much of a turn-on, to me, anyway. Girls peeing outside because they have to are very much wonderful, though - they're doing it because they absolutely have to.
To me I enjoy seeing a girl needing to pee really badly. But I don't actually enjoy torturing or stopping her, it's so cruel. It's always sexy to see how she humiliate herself =X Humiliation is 1 of the main aspect. And yes, I love seeing how a girl reacts when she needs to pee as well ^-^ The squirms, the dances, the moans, they are SO HOT!
Quote from: oramisho on July 06, 2009, 05:43:46 PM
I always thought desperation was used oddly when refferring to this fetish as its ussually just used for a girl who really has to pee. the actual definition is "Having lost hope" (http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/desperate) which one would think would be better suited when they get to the breaking point and finally give in the urge and finally wet themselves.
Edit: Actually, looking at the other definitions on webster:
2: moved by despair
3: suffering extreme need or anxiety
4: involving extreme danger or possible disaster <a desperate situation>
5: of extreme intensity
The word actually fits quite well as every defnition can be used to describe at least one part of the fetish.
I have the same opinion as well. All the definitions of "desperate" suits this fetish a lot.
Quote from: FallenStar on June 21, 2007, 07:38:41 PM
For me, personally, I like the reactions of a girl who really needs to pee badly and I do like taking control and making her wet herself...
Ditto
when a girl realy has to go to the bathroom, the fetish is the part where the female has no control.
well I don't know about some others but I cant say it's about making the women pee themselves it just that I find it arousing when they really have to go that either they decide not to go at the opportune time or a problem would happen if they were to find a certain opportune time
I think it is just the state of arousal that women get when they experience a full bladder.