Since most of the new topics in general discussion these days are either wacky news articles posted by me or sick sad news stories posted by Star, and since they rarely get more than a few replies, i thought i would just make a sticky so we could put it all here.
News stories. Let's include the header, a link to the article, and maybe short quotes whenever possible.
Man gets stuck inside a statue of a vagina in Germanyhttp://www.bbc.co.uk/newsbeat/27971248
QuoteA man has had to be rescued by firefighters in Germany after becoming stuck inside a stone vagina.
The man, who is said to be an American exchange student...
Had to laugh as soon as i read that second line. This is the kind of trouble that only an American boy under the age of 23 could get himself into. I'm sure his friends will never, EVER let him live that one down.
Naked selfies extracted from 'factory reset' phoneshttp://www.bbc.co.uk/news/technology-28264446 (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/technology-28264446)
Sooo, Avast bought a bunch of used phones and pulled up their deleted data that hadn't been overwritten yet. Lots of fun stuff, some good fap material too. This just goes to show why you NEVER sell used data storage devices. Hell, when i got rid of my old computer i pulled out the hard drive, opened it up, and bent the platters just to make data retrieval impossible.
QuoteThe company claims that of 40,000 stored photos extracted from 20 phones purchased from eBay, more than 750 were of women in various stages of undress,
Heh heh, i wonder if they kept the pics? I'm almost willing to bet money that at least one employee put them on a flash drive and took them home without telling anybody.
Quotealong with 250 selfies of "what appears to be the previous owner's manhood".
Wahahaha! 250 cocks from 20 phones?! Does that mean the average guy takes 12.5 pictures of his own dick? Maybe they were gifts sent to the previous owners from other guys? (See attached motivator)
Saw the vaginal one on Facebook not too long ago. I thought it was unwitting at first, but apparently it was done as a dare.
Chocolate teapot proves usefulhttp://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-york-north-yorkshire-29126161 (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-york-north-yorkshire-29126161)
QuoteWhen put to the test the teapot survived, albeit pouring tea with a "hint of chocolate".
Good grief, of all the things to spend six weeks on building. That sounds awesome though, melting chocolate into your tea. :lol:
Quote from: Serika on July 13, 2014, 12:06:46 AM
Naked selfies extracted from 'factory reset' phones
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/technology-28264446 (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/technology-28264446)
Sooo, Avast bought a bunch of used phones and pulled up their deleted data that hadn't been overwritten yet. Lots of fun stuff, some good fap material too. This just goes to show why you NEVER sell used data storage devices. Hell, when i got rid of my old computer i pulled out the hard drive, opened it up, and bent the platters just to make data retrieval impossible.
QuoteThe company claims that of 40,000 stored photos extracted from 20 phones purchased from eBay, more than 750 were of women in various stages of undress,
Heh heh, i wonder if they kept the pics? I'm almost willing to bet money that at least one employee put them on a flash drive and took them home without telling anybody.
Quotealong with 250 selfies of "what appears to be the previous owner's manhood".
Wahahaha! 250 cocks from 20 phones?! Does that mean the average guy takes 12.5 pictures of his own dick? Maybe they were gifts sent to the previous owners from other guys? (See attached motivator)
Aaand that's why I don't take selfies... I actually try to avoid use the phone when I'm in the bathroom, unless there is nothing that I could embarrasses me in any way xD.
Aaaaaaaand yeah. This laptop is going to the fire pit, then is going to be crushed into it smaller possible portion and then, burned again... NOTHING is going to be stracted from this one... I just hope that my family doesn't try to extract information from the laptop that I left in my old house... Or they will fine reaaally weird things about me :V.......
A friend sent me this, a man stabbed with the Master Sword form The Legend of Zelda... And I couldn't stop laughing while reading it xDD.
http://www.independent.co.uk/news/weird-news/man-stabbed-with-legend-of-zelda-master-sword-in-serious-condition-9167520.html (http://www.independent.co.uk/news/weird-news/man-stabbed-with-legend-of-zelda-master-sword-in-serious-condition-9167520.html)
QuoteThe ex-husband was taken to hospital following the altercation, but not before he, in true Zelda fashion, smashed a pot (a flower pot, over the head of Thompson).
That last part was perfect xDDD.
Quote from: darklok on November 18, 2014, 08:22:08 PM
http://www.independent.co.uk/news/weird-news/man-stabbed-with-legend-of-zelda-master-sword-in-serious-condition-9167520.html (http://www.independent.co.uk/news/weird-news/man-stabbed-with-legend-of-zelda-master-sword-in-serious-condition-9167520.html)
He was then taken to the emergency room where doctors checked his heart containers and administered a red potion.
US senator questions forcing food workers to wash handshttp://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-us-canada-31127704 (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-us-canada-31127704)
QuoteA US senator has suggested that restaurants should not have to make their employees wash their hands after toilet visits.
Welcome to Thom's Diner, where the fries are crispy and diarrhea is on the house (And on our hands!) You'll love our delicious ass-to-mouth hamburgers, made with fresh dick cheese and finger lickin' good! We'll toss your salad with the same fingers we toss our balls while shaking the last few drops off. Remember, if it's not stomach cramps it's not Thom's!
Of course... another stupid ass Republican making another stupid ass comment. Gee, where have we heard THAT before? Seriously, why the hell are these asshats allowed in Congress and worse... WHY THE FUCK ARE PEOPLE STILL VOTING FOR THEM?! God damn 'Muricans are fucking brainwashed, I swear... :censored: :death:
Canadian MP blames tight underpants for exit from parliament
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-us-canada-31547073 (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-us-canada-31547073)
I thought these guys were supposed to have lots of money, or at least enough so that he doesn't have to buy kid sized tightey whiteys. I mean, isn't it worth spending the extra penny if it means not getting caught in your banana hammock all the time? I don't know what he's got his panties in a wad about when the working class is willing to pay for a comfortable fruit bag. :lol:
I came into this topic expecting to rant about why the hell political figures would even care whether one of their own was wearing kiddy underwear and why they would fire him for it.
I am now disappoint. Thanks a LUMP, Serika. :lol:
Apple Watch prices and apps revealedhttp://www.bbc.co.uk/news/technology-31794823 (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/technology-31794823)
QuoteApple's smartwatch collection will range in price from $349 to $17,000
Nothing sick or funny or bizarre about this story but the price of these watches got me thinking about something. This is a LOT of money to be wearing around your wrist on a daily basis. Even if you get the most basic model that still breaks the Christmas budget for most people.
Now... what if you purchased a really nice smartwatch and something happened to it? Let's say you're having dinner at a nice restaurant somewhere and the disgruntled chef decides to rub his hairy balls all over your food. You get a bad stomach cramp and run over to the bathroom, where you sit on the toilet and take the biggest, foulest, smelliest diarrhea dump of your life. You stand up and wipe when it's over, but little do you know that your $17,000 watch has come loose, and when you reach out to flush it drops right in the soup.
Okay, so it's far more likely you just smack it against something by accident and break the dumb thing but it's big bucks down the drain either way. Call me Scrooge but i think i'll just stick with the cheap watches and spend my money on my desktop. :lol:
Toilet instructions for armed police at US Capitolhttp://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-us-canada-32832466 (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-us-canada-32832466)
Oh dear... The police who guard the capital building keep leaving their guns in the bathroom. What good does having a metal detector at the front door do if you can just arm yourself IN THE BATHROOM? All of the "important" people in the capital are absolutely furious too, so now the cops are getting suspended and even fired for this.
To be fair though, this sounds like something *I* would do. I get distracted so easily that i would probably leave my head behind if it were detachable. xD
Quote"We are now providing additional training on what to do when you have to go to the bathroom,"
Pfft, haha! Let's hope they're fully potty trained soon, we don't want any 'accidents' in our nation's capital. :lol:
http://www.cnn.com/2015/07/04/us/texas-alligator-attack/index.html (http://www.cnn.com/2015/07/04/us/texas-alligator-attack/index.html)
Give this guy a Darwin award. Seriously, Texas, again? Proven as the stupidest state this side of the planet? Yeah, that sounds about right. :lol:
Darwin Award? Most definitely. I would expect to see this tough guy in Wendy Northcutt's next book. Just to be fair though-
QuoteWoodward had recently moved to the area from St. Louis
Yeah, we can't pin it on Texas THIS time, but there's always tomorrow. :lol:
Quotehe said 'blank the alligators' and jumped in to the water and almost immediately yelled for help
Okay guys, 1+1 equals... For every action, cause and effect, ect... Yes i'm going to be a jerk about this and laugh. If it were some dumb kid doing this i might be upset but at 28 he should have known better. :p
http://bleacherreport.com/articles/2530899-josh-smith-claims-69-million-salary-with-clippers-will-be-harder-on-family?utm_source=cnn.com&utm_medium=referral&utm_campaign=editorial (http://bleacherreport.com/articles/2530899-josh-smith-claims-69-million-salary-with-clippers-will-be-harder-on-family?utm_source=cnn.com&utm_medium=referral&utm_campaign=editorial)
Articles like this and athletes like this piss me the fuck off. *rant
"Wahhh, wahhh! I'm making 6 million dollars and it's still not enough!"
Give me a fucking break... what a spoiled brat. :dots:
Yeah, i know. My high school science teacher, who was a big sports fan, once complained about this and said he wanted to be a pro athlete so bad he would have paid THEM to have that honor.
If he doesn't want that 7 million i'd take it. I could buy my own house and never have to work another day in my life.
Pee-proof: San Francisco trials paint that repels urine
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-us-canada-33682342 (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-us-canada-33682342)
Oh here's a good one. This paint is like casting a reflect spell on the building. The urine will bounce back and hit you in the leg. They do this to keep bums and tourists from peeing all over the city. That's pretty damn funny, and it's a good idea to clean up the neighborhood, but let's be honest i'm sure there are plenty of ways to get around this if all the nearby walls are painted and your bladder is about to explode.
1. Stand further back. Reflected urine can only travel so far.
2. Pee on the ground. In all likelihood they will not paint the roads with this.
3. Place a foreign object in front of the wall. Something like rag or even a piece of cardboard will do.
4. Pee in a container of some sort. Boxes, garbage cans, dumpsters, ect...
5. Pee on something that simply can't be painted, like garbage, or a tree, or a car tire.
6. Pee on the wall at an angle to control where the trajectory. Think of it like a game of pool.
7. Pee in a cup and slowly pour it over the painted wall.
Last but not least... pee your pants! That'll show 'em! <3
http://www.cnn.com/2015/08/04/americas/chile-elderly-woman-fetus/?iid=ob_article_footer_expansion&iref=obinsite (http://www.cnn.com/2015/08/04/americas/chile-elderly-woman-fetus/?iid=ob_article_footer_expansion&iref=obinsite)
What in the he.... HOW IS THIS EVEN POSSIBLE?! Dur.. I broked my braine readinge thise. *dur
That is very, very odd. A miscarriage does not simply go unnoticed. You have to wonder how any woman could be so unaware of her own body her entire life.
US man loses job offer after sending naked selfies to boss
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-us-canada-34143079 (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-us-canada-34143079)
If you think his résumé is too small just wait till you see his dick! FYI, you still have to wear SOMETHING on casual Fridays. :lol:
http://www.cnn.com/2015/11/13/us/google-self-driving-car-pulled-over/index.html (http://www.cnn.com/2015/11/13/us/google-self-driving-car-pulled-over/index.html)
xFD!
"Sir, I wasn't speeding, honest! I'm non-corporeal!" :lol: :lol:
I wonder if the cop would pepper spray/taze the car if it were resisting arrest? Handcuff the steering wheel? Stick a breathalyzer in the exhaust pipe? xD
That would depend on the color of the car, Serika.
Quote from: Drying on November 14, 2015, 04:12:54 PM
That would depend on the color of the car, Serika.
Ohhhh, good one. :lol:
Florida man charged with 'throwing alligator' into fast-food restaurant
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-us-canada-35534633 (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-us-canada-35534633)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Si9duk125SE (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Si9duk125SE)
Pranksters in Florida are insane. That wasn't a baby alligator either, it was at least 3 feet long!
I guess it's more clever than making farting noises into the intercom and rearranging the letters to spell out dirty words. :p
Chef prepared curry after wiping bottom with his bare hands 'for cultural reasons'
http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/uk-news/chef-prepared-curry-after-wiping-7745790 (http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/uk-news/chef-prepared-curry-after-wiping-7745790)
Already showed this to Star but figured i'd leave it here anyway.
Kinda ruins the old joke, "Which hand do you wipe with?"
Marijuana chemical contaminates Colorado town's waterhttp://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-us-canada-36864432 (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-us-canada-36864432)
QuoteResidents of a small town in the US state of Colorado have been told not to drink tap water after THC, the psychoactive chemical in marijuana, was found in one of the area's wells.
Sales of Mountain Dew are going to see a sharp drop-off in this town now that all the local teenagers are filling up on tap water but the sales of Doritos and Cheetos might go up.
Come to think of it, this is probably the ONLY way you're going to get your kids to start drinking more water and less soda. :lol:
'Fart' in parliament: Row blows up in Canada
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-us-canada-38037187 (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-us-canada-38037187)
Okay, so i clicked on this expecting something else. I thought someone in parliament just TORE ASS and ripped one, but this is even dumber. Someone said the word fart and another MP got all offended by it. The first MP refused to apologize and started blowing a lot of hot air while the second MP got anal over her lauguage.
What a waste of tax dollars. This stinks.
Canada mint worker who hid $130,000 of gold in rectum jailedhttp://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-us-canada-38848211 (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-us-canada-38848211)
Guy smuggles gold in his butt. I think we've finally found an appropriate use for that golden toilet (http://www.highsnobiety.com/2016/09/26/gold-toilet-guggenheim-museum/) in New York.
QuoteInvestigators found vaseline and latex gloves in the mint employee's locker.
Haha, this sounds like a fictitious story a 10 year old would write.
QuoteJudge Doody said these items...
LOLOLOL! This can't be real. This sounds like something *I* would write. xD
Bald New Zealand murderer wins toupee court battlehttp://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-asia-39287955 (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-asia-39287955)
Convicted killer gets toupee confiscated by prison after escape and recapture. Sues. Says his rights were violated.
QuoteHe argued that the custom-made hairpiece was an "artwork" that was important for his self-esteem and self-confidence.
Wow. Just wow. His murder victim didn't have the right to live but this chrome-dome has the right to his toupee? You don't HAVE any dignity to maintain when you get busted for all the things you did, Mr. Cue Ball. I swear, they should make Breivik his cellmate so they can both whine together about their coffee being cold and their champagne being warm.
There's a woman in Texas who proposed a law that would make it so that if a man masturbated, it would cost him 100 dollars, if you can believe that. Supposedly, it's in protest to certain anti-abortionist crap, but damn... the lengths some people will go to prove a point, huh? :lol:
I read about that the other day. She has a point, insofar that you need to draw a line between biology and humanity somewhere or else the religious nutjobs will eventually say that masturbation = genocide.
But you know what happens when everyone is sexually repressed, right? They all become perverts. You get dudes walking around with blue balls and diamond hard cocks who think anything that breathes is sexy, and girls walking around with wet crotches wondering what kind of foreign objects they can ram in there. xD
Texas man sues woman for texting in date
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-us-canada-39966675 (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-us-canada-39966675)
I have mixed feelings on this one. On the one hand, yes it's annoying as hell when you're trying to talk to or work with someone and they won't put the damn smartphone away. Idiots walk into traffic because their Twitter feed is more interesting to them than the cars whizzing past them at 50 miles an hour. Mobile phones are the zombie apocalypse and i wish they would just disappear. This woman was terribly rude on her date and i certainly wouldn't want to go out with her.
On the other hand, this man is clearly a dipshit for suing for an amount less than $20. Dump the child who can't keep her hands off her phone and find a woman with class, don't turn a bad date into a courtroom drama. xD
He clearly has too thin of a line between "don't speak to anymore" and "send to court", and if he is really valuing the money he would get from the lawsuit than he has more problems than his date texting right next to him.
After a long hot summer we're back with something silly! 💩
Colorado police hunt 'Mad Pooper' jogger
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-us-canada-41327420 (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-us-canada-41327420)
Awesome villain name, but she needs a costume to become a real comic book villain. Maybe something like a bodysuit with a poop emoji on the chest and an opening on the butt. Also, is Batman going to handle this or does she get her own arch nemesis?
In all seriousness though, I considered if she might have a medical condition like Irritable Bowel Syndrome, but if that's the case, and she can't run for 5 minutes without almost shitting herself, then maybe she should just get a treadmill. I wouldn't believe her if she tried to say she didn't know there were bathrooms nearby, not with her running through that same neighborhood every day.
At least she's in better shape than I am. If I were to jog for even a minute i'd be pooped. 💩
http://www.cnn.com/2017/09/25/us/b-o-b-flat-earth-gofundme-trnd/index.html (http://www.cnn.com/2017/09/25/us/b-o-b-flat-earth-gofundme-trnd/index.html)
What is this, I don't even... :death:
Maybe this is why I can't take Rap seriously - especially since some of it sounds like an auctioneer on Crack. :dots:
Oh yes, I read that story earlier today. Imagine paying $200,000 just for a picture of a round Earth and a "Haha, told ya so, dumbass!" from the general public. xD
It does kind of piss me off though. Mankind has far more important things to do than entertain the braindead conspiracy theories of small minded fools who think the Earth is flat or the moon landing was fake.
That money should go to cancer research or clean energy, not to someone who claims, "Durr hurr, scientists iz lying to us!" *dur
Here's a good example of obscenity being in the eye of the beholder.
US student's 'Summa cum laude' graduation cake censored (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-us-canada-44217118)
Protip: If you run a cake shop (grocery store bakery in this case, it seems) and the customer pays you $70 to cum on her cake, then you need to do your fucking job and cum on her fucking cake. It's just ONE word! One stinkin, 3 letter, word, and it didn't even mean what they thought it meant. Pretty high and mighty of them to decide what is and what is not appropriate for their customers, especially after taking the money. They didn't even send her a reply email to ask for a different message. Nope, just let her son open the box on graduation day and find out there's no cum. For shame.
I mean, who wouldn't want a mouth full of cum on their graduation party?
Three things:
1. South Carolina is all you have to know to realize that ordering a cake is going to be a disaster. Us Southern Folks are stupid as hell. Or need I remind you about "Florida Man"? =P
2. I have a Publix nearby - don't think I'll be ordering any cakes from them in the near future. xD
3. A mouthful of cum? Seriously, dude? Maybe if we can get Vita all full in her cum bladder, you can have a big drink. :lol:
https://www.cnn.com/2018/05/29/politics/diane-black-school-shootings-pornography/index.html (https://www.cnn.com/2018/05/29/politics/diane-black-school-shootings-pornography/index.html)
Seriously? Nevermind the fact that Playboy has been around for more than 60 years?
See, this is why you will NEVER convince me to vote Republican. Why the Republican party would attract so many lamebrain idiotic assholes is beyond me, but god damn... This is just stupid AF. *rant
Quote from: FallenStar on May 29, 2018, 06:59:59 PM
Seriously? Nevermind the fact that Playboy has been around for more than 60 years?
"(_____) should be illegal because it makes little boys violent."
🗹 Books with cuss-words in them
🗹 Dungeons & Dragons
🗹 Rock, rap, and heavy metal music
🗹 Movies
🗹 Cartoons
🗹 Video games
🗹 Sugar, candy, and junk food
🗹 Dirty jokes
🗹 Porn
Or so say the conservatives, the soccer moms, moral busybodies, feminists, nanny state advocates, the PTA, and many, many other people who likely didn't know how to tie their own shoes until they were in college.
Ewwwwwww....
Fox host says he 'hasn't washed hands in 10 years'
https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-us-canada-47201923 (https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-us-canada-47201923)
According to Edward Penishands here, germs don't really exist! Nevermind the fact that you can actually see them under a microscope. Boy i'll tell you what, i'd like to get up in his face and call him out for denying science... except i'm afraid he might try to touch me with those nasty ass fingers of his. xD
Well, better he work for Fox than get a real job serving food to the public. His KFC sure ain't finger lickin' good.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TAzR8zdM3OA (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TAzR8zdM3OA)
"Fox Host" <--- there's your answer to as why.
Dude sounds as if he comes straight ass born from the Republican party - or at least, those who claim that "women's bodies have natural methods to prevent unwanted pregnancies" and whatnot. <_<
A driver tried to jump a bridge opening in his car. Now two people are dead
https://www.cnn.com/2019/05/24/us/louisiana-two-killed-trying-to-jump-car-over-bridge-opening/index.html (https://www.cnn.com/2019/05/24/us/louisiana-two-killed-trying-to-jump-car-over-bridge-opening/index.html)
I took a minute to read what you sent me, Star. I agree. This is totally a Darwin Award.
🗹Reproduction: Dead. Out of the gene pool.
🗹Excellence: He drove his car right off a bridge! On purpose!
🗹Self Selection: On purpose!
🗹Maturity: Driver was 23 years old.
🗹Veracity: In the news.
And the fact that his passenger lifted up the gate arm to help the driver get his car through rules out disqualification from innocent deaths, as he was obviously a willing participant.
It just goes to show; don't watch action movies and say "I could TOTALLY do this!"
Urinating man causes injuries on Berlin boat (https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-europe-48731431)
What a disaster. :lol:
The hell? What kind of low-lying bridge is that that people could jump up on a boat and hit their heads?! :blink:
Quote from: FallenStar on June 22, 2019, 12:33:20 PM
The hell? What kind of low-lying bridge is that that people could jump up on a boat and hit their heads?! :blink:
Small bridges. These are often built for foot traffic rather than cars, but not always. You might see them over shallow rivers or creeks, where there's a road and the locals couldn't just go around the creek.
What's strange is that you're usually not allowed to take boats under these bridges. My town, at least, has the small bridges fenced off so you can't go under them.
In that case, I wouldn't blame the guy urinating so much as I'd blame the boat captain for taking the boat under such a low bridge in the first place.
https://www.cnn.com/2019/10/28/us/iowa-gender-reveal-death/index.html (https://www.cnn.com/2019/10/28/us/iowa-gender-reveal-death/index.html)
And I thought Florida man was dumb. :death:
Quote from: FallenStar on October 28, 2019, 02:48:09 PM
https://www.cnn.com/2019/10/28/us/iowa-gender-reveal-death/index.html (https://www.cnn.com/2019/10/28/us/iowa-gender-reveal-death/index.html)
And I thought Florida man was dumb. :death:
Oh definitely. Recipe for disaster if you're not trained to handle explosives.
A lot of people who build pipe bombs for malicious purposes set the damn thing off while they're working on it. The important thing to remember is that drilling or cutting metal creates SPARKS, and if you put the gunpowder in before drilling the fuse hole... you're not going to be a happy camper. :p
Human urine forces cinema evacuation in Washington state (https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-us-canada-50619955)
Okay, gonna be honest with you, I saw the headline and thought someone wet her pants up at the back and caused a commotion when it started flowing down towards the front, with people jumping out of their seats and running towards the exit. Maybe some dumb, CUTE girl had way too much to drink and didn't use the bathroom before the movie started, and was too embarrassed to get up and leave, and sat there with her knees knocking together until she finally exploded. Gravity pulls it toward the front, and there's so much pee it gets people's shoes wet, tips over soft drinks that were on the floor, and washes foreign objects like purses and cellphones towards the front. People are screaming, yelling "Eww gross!" and running away, while this girl is sitting near the back, wearing her pee-pee pants and crying.
Then I imagined some guy causing trouble on purpose, standing on a seat and pointing his dick at people, and giving them golden showers. Maybe he snapped and went postal and yelled, "Fear the wrath of the Urinator, bwahaha!" He pisses in someone's popcorn, gets a few people right in the face, and starts waving his dick all over the place like a hose without a fireman behind it. Some guys consider trying to stop him, but in the end they don't want to risk getting pissed on, so they just leave and call the police. Finally, after several cops get pissed on and run away, Batman swings down and knocks him out.
But as it turns out, reality is infinitely less interesting that what I imagined, and it was just a package delivery that was meant to go to a clinic instead. Awwww...
QuoteThen I imagined some guy causing trouble on purpose, standing on a seat and pointing his dick at people, and giving them golden showers. Maybe he snapped and went postal and yelled, "Fear the wrath of the Urinator, bwahaha!" He pisses in someone's popcorn, gets a few people right in the face, and starts waving his dick all over the place like a hose without a fireman behind it. Some guys consider trying to stop him, but in the end they don't want to risk getting pissed on, so they just leave and call the police. Finally, after several cops get pissed on and run away, Batman swings down and knocks him out.
Why do I get the feeling this is fanfic fuel?
https://www.cnn.com/2020/01/17/us/video-game-airport-trnd/index.html (https://www.cnn.com/2020/01/17/us/video-game-airport-trnd/index.html)
wtf
:S
Quote from: FallenStar on January 17, 2020, 08:36:13 PM
https://www.cnn.com/2020/01/17/us/video-game-airport-trnd/index.html (https://www.cnn.com/2020/01/17/us/video-game-airport-trnd/index.html)
wtf
:S
Haha!! This guy was like, "Fuck a Gameboy! I'm gonna stuff a goddamn PS4 in my luggage!" :lol:
I wonder what else he had in his bags? Just imagine if he also brought an Xbox One and a WiiU with him. That is one dedicated gamer. xD
Quote from: Serika on January 18, 2020, 11:17:25 AM
Quote from: FallenStar on January 17, 2020, 08:36:13 PM
https://www.cnn.com/2020/01/17/us/video-game-airport-trnd/index.html (https://www.cnn.com/2020/01/17/us/video-game-airport-trnd/index.html)
wtf
:S
Haha!! This guy was like, "Fuck a Gameboy! I'm gonna stuff a goddamn PS4 in my luggage!" :lol:
I wonder what else he had in his bags? Just imagine if he also brought an Xbox One and a WiiU with him. That is one dedicated gamer. xD
I think a WiiU would be the biggest slap in the face you could do to an airport. From all the things you could've plugged to play, you choose a system that's doesn't even need to be plug in, and hasn't any good games!
.... I wanna see that happen xD (thought, with the switch out... that won't ever happen now u _u
https://www.cnn.com/2020/04/28/us/good-morning-america-will-reeve-no-pants-trnd/index.html (https://www.cnn.com/2020/04/28/us/good-morning-america-will-reeve-no-pants-trnd/index.html)
Big ol' WHOOPS on that one. :lol:
Quote from: FallenStar on April 28, 2020, 09:42:24 AM
https://www.cnn.com/2020/04/28/us/good-morning-america-will-reeve-no-pants-trnd/index.html (https://www.cnn.com/2020/04/28/us/good-morning-america-will-reeve-no-pants-trnd/index.html)
Hey Homie, I can see your doodle!
/Ned Flanders
But seriously, this is a bad dream that got somehow got dragged into reality. :lol:
https://www.cnn.com/2020/05/05/us/5-year-old-driver-utah-trnd/index.html (https://www.cnn.com/2020/05/05/us/5-year-old-driver-utah-trnd/index.html)
Kids keep wanting to grow up earlier and earlier. :lol:
'Master Thief' burglar hopes to catch break on sentence (https://apnews.com/04c28b18267e95905f9b67366ba1a45b)
What do you get when you have a tiny brain, a HUGE ego, and no moral compass whatsoever? A prison sentence!
So, guy accidentally sets fire to the money he was planning to steal and walks away with about 10% of the vault's fortune. He gets caught, refuses a plea bargain, and represents himself in his own criminal trial.
*dur
https://www.cnn.com/2020/06/08/entertainment/looney-tunes-reboot-guns-trnd/index.html (https://www.cnn.com/2020/06/08/entertainment/looney-tunes-reboot-guns-trnd/index.html)
This is getting old. Now Elmer Fudd can't go "wabbit" hunting with a gun but a scythe is perfectly okay?! And we can't have our "rootin' tootin' shootin'" firebrand with his trademark pistols anymore?!
Fuck this world, I swear.
Quote from: FallenStar on June 08, 2020, 01:00:28 PM
https://www.cnn.com/2020/06/08/entertainment/looney-tunes-reboot-guns-trnd/index.html (https://www.cnn.com/2020/06/08/entertainment/looney-tunes-reboot-guns-trnd/index.html)
It's gonna be bland, flavorless, corporate approved drivel for sure.
John Kricfalusi, the creator of Ren and Stimpy, has some good rants on the decay of American cartoons. In the director's commentary track of the Ren and Stimpy DVDs he explains that the story of any given cartoon used to be up to the cartoonist himself. The boss of the company was only interested in finished products, so the cartoonist could draw whatever he wanted and as long as it didn't have DICKS in it the boss would usually buy it from him and put it on TV. That's why cartoons from the first half of the 20th century had such extreme violence.
Time passed, and these small animation companies became large corporations with big studios, lots of employees, and worst of all, stockholders. The CEO then had to make sure his cartoons wouldn't offend advertisers who buy commercial slots. Knowing how filthy and crazy most animators were, these companies moved the job of story writing away from the animators to other people. People who used to just wing it and draw their own stuff were then told exactly what to draw, and were not allowed to draw anything else. This was the late 20th century.
Now, in the early 21st century, these big television monopolies have entire departments devoted to public relations and political correctness. Computers do all the animation, everything is reviewed for possible offensive content, and the end result is crap. Big business killed the cartoon.
Don't get me wrong. The racist cartoons were dumb and i'm glad those were boxed up and left in the vault. I just want sex and violence. That's the main reason I drifted away from western cartoons and started watching anime as a teenager.
https://www.cnn.com/2020/09/22/uk/old-tv-breaks-broadband-village-scli-intl-gbr/index.html (https://www.cnn.com/2020/09/22/uk/old-tv-breaks-broadband-village-scli-intl-gbr/index.html)
Lawl! Damn old TV knocked out the internet for these folks in Wales every day. :lol:
An entire village. That is some impressive range for a Wi-Fi jamming vintage television.
https://www.cnn.com/2020/10/25/us/3-year-old-dies-birthday-gunshot-trnd/index.html (https://www.cnn.com/2020/10/25/us/3-year-old-dies-birthday-gunshot-trnd/index.html)
Ugh... again... People who don't practice proper gun safety and who refuse to stop having guns around kids. Another senseless death due to this shit. =_=
QuoteInvestigators believe the child found the gun involved in the incident after it allegedly fell out of a family member's pocket.
This is why you put the gun in a fucking holster.
There are responsible gun owners who commit themselves to the highest standards of safety, and then there's this guy. Don't be this guy.
Quote from: Serika on October 29, 2019, 03:57:43 PM
Quote from: FallenStar on October 28, 2019, 02:48:09 PM
https://www.cnn.com/2019/10/28/us/iowa-gender-reveal-death/index.html (https://www.cnn.com/2019/10/28/us/iowa-gender-reveal-death/index.html)
And I thought Florida man was dumb. :death:
Oh definitely. Recipe for disaster if you're not trained to handle explosives.
It happened again.
https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-us-canada-56159731 (https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-us-canada-56159731)
Seriously,
DO NOT build your own explosive devices. Not even for peaceful purposes. Pipe bombs are super fucking dangerous.
https://www.gamespot.com/articles/chicago-lawmaker-wants-to-ban-violent-video-games-completely-amid-rise-in-carjackings/1100-6487966/?utm_source=gamefaqs&utm_medium=partner&utm_content=news_module&utm_campaign=hub_forum (https://www.gamespot.com/articles/chicago-lawmaker-wants-to-ban-violent-video-games-completely-amid-rise-in-carjackings/1100-6487966/?utm_source=gamefaqs&utm_medium=partner&utm_content=news_module&utm_campaign=hub_forum)
Again?! I thought this was the whole point of the whole ESRB in the first fucking place!
God damn, people are continuing this crap.
Quote from: FallenStar on February 23, 2021, 04:22:00 PM
https://www.gamespot.com/articles/chicago-lawmaker-wants-to-ban-violent-video-games-completely-amid-rise-in-carjackings/1100-6487966/?utm_source=gamefaqs&utm_medium=partner&utm_content=news_module&utm_campaign=hub_forum (https://www.gamespot.com/articles/chicago-lawmaker-wants-to-ban-violent-video-games-completely-amid-rise-in-carjackings/1100-6487966/?utm_source=gamefaqs&utm_medium=partner&utm_content=news_module&utm_campaign=hub_forum)
It was stupid then. It's stupid now. It's still going to be stupid the next time some nanny state asshole tries to ban violent video games.
https://www.cnn.com/2021/03/02/us/imperial-california-crash/index.html (https://www.cnn.com/2021/03/02/us/imperial-california-crash/index.html)
How do you even FIT 27 people in one SUV?! I mean, I'm all for being sad that 14 of them died by ramming into a semi-truck head on, but just... HOW?! I can't even imagine an SUV holding that many people. That HAD to be unsafe somehow... it just HAD to. I just... I just... what is this, I don't even... :death:
Quote from: FallenStar on March 02, 2021, 09:52:58 AMHow do you even FIT 27 people in one SUV?!
It seems they tore the back seats out to make more room. Very dangerous indeed.
Another article I read suggested these people were farm workers, and the SUV was their shuttle between work and home. If that's really true, and they had to modify an SUV in a dangerous way just to make the commute, then the company they work for ought to step in and help them. Their employer should just buy a used bus from one of the nearby school districts and make that the company bus.
Quote from: Serika on February 23, 2021, 10:33:56 AM
Quote from: FallenStar on October 28, 2019, 02:48:09 PM
https://www.cnn.com/2019/10/28/us/iowa-gender-reveal-death/index.html (https://www.cnn.com/2019/10/28/us/iowa-gender-reveal-death/index.html)
And I thought Florida man was dumb. :death:
It happened again.https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-us-canada-56159731 (https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-us-canada-56159731)
https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/newsbeat-56861212 (https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/newsbeat-56861212)
Oh well, at least no one was hurt this time, if only because they did it in a rock quarry. So what's next? Pink and blue colored nukes for gender reveal parties?
card sales at major US retailer halted over security fears (https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-us-canada-57124256)
QuoteTarget... made the decision after a man drew a gun in a fight over trading cards outside a store in Wisconsin... after four men allegedly assaulted another man over sports trading cards... The victim, who had a license to carry a concealed gun, ended the fight by drawing his weapon, police say.
Jesus fucking christ, people.
These weren't just punk kids either, they were in their 20s and 30s! Too bad they act their shoe size and not their age.
Wait, they decided to stop selling Pokemon trading cards just because of an isolated incident? Wow, good job there, Target.
I mean, hell, if Wal-Mart didn't ban wearing masks inside after a security guard ate it trying to tell this Karen to wear one...
https://www.cnn.com/2021/09/19/us/baby-shower-shooting/index.html (https://www.cnn.com/2021/09/19/us/baby-shower-shooting/index.html)
Oh good god, what the fuck is wrong with people?! This feels like a Karen (or the male version anyway) situation.
Quote from: FallenStar on September 19, 2021, 12:12:42 PM
https://www.cnn.com/2021/09/19/us/baby-shower-shooting/index.html (https://www.cnn.com/2021/09/19/us/baby-shower-shooting/index.html)
It went from an argument, to a physical fight, to a shooting. There's either some bitter, long standing grudges between these people or they all just missed their cue to chill the fuck out and walk away.
You know, I hate to bring real world political shit to this board - I like to keep politics out of what should just be based around fantasies and whatnot... but I just cannot condone these protestors.
I just... ugh... I just want to jump into the video, grab that protestor that talked about child abuse and wring their stupid ass neck until they die of asphixiation.
https://www.cnn.com/videos/us/2021/10/08/schools-mask-mandate-protest-parents-students-newday-vpx.cnn (https://www.cnn.com/videos/us/2021/10/08/schools-mask-mandate-protest-parents-students-newday-vpx.cnn)
Scott Hall: Tributes paid to WWE star Razor Ramon, who's died aged 63 (https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/newsbeat-60750311)
Razor Ramon... ;_;
Yeah, I knew about this yesterday. Dude had three heart attacks after a surgery to replace his hip and just never recovered from it.
"Hey yo..." is now being the Bad guy in the best place possible; the afterlife.
Star shared this with me last night so i'm putting it here so that everyone can see.
Geico ordered to pay Missouri woman $5.2 million after she contracted STD in a car (https://www.cnn.com/2022/06/09/us/geico-insurance-std-settlement-missouri/index.html)
Car insurer Geico may have to pay $5m after woman contracts STI in a vehicle (https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-us-canada-61763333)
As much as I despise Geico, and insurance companies, and BIG business in general, it's pretty obvious that this woman is just gaming the system. This is the latest chapter in frivolous lawsuits and runaway juries.
There is just one thing i'd like to add: If this woman's ex-boyfriend really did know that he had HPV, and he said nothing about it to her before they had sex... and this woman eventually gets cervical cancer because of the HPV and dies from it... mother fucker should go to prison on murder charges.
https://www.cnn.com/2022/06/18/business/velveeta-cheese-scented-nail-polish-trnd/index.html
What... the... actual... FUCK?! :S
Quote from: FallenStar on June 18, 2022, 10:52:30 AMhttps://www.cnn.com/2022/06/18/business/velveeta-cheese-scented-nail-polish-trnd/index.html
Oh sure! SURE! If you pay big bucks for this nail polish you're sexy and interesting but if you just had some nachos a few minutes ago you're "dirty" and "stinky" and need to go wash your fucking hands! Okay! I see how it is! *rant
:p
Florida woman sues Kraft mac and cheese over preparation time (https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-us-canada-63825860)
When the cooking instructions on a package of food say 3 minutes, what do you think the company actually MEANS by that? Would you assume they mean 3 minutes getting zapped in the microwave? Or does this include the time it takes to set the table, grab a spoon, get something to drink, beat your meat, wash your hands, and do a quick speedrun of Contra first?
Yeah, I didn't think so. This woman wants 5 million dollars though.
So it's not just the men in Florida who are retards; it's the women too. I blame it all on Republicans like Herschel Walker. :dots:
There seems to be something about the air quality in Florida. Like the perfect combination of heat and humidity that prevents people from using rational thought.
https://www.cnn.com/2023/03/31/sport/australia-surf-club-nudity-policy-intl-spt-scli/index.html
Oh what the fucking hell... People are stupid.
Quote from: FallenStar on April 01, 2023, 08:07:24 AMhttps://www.cnn.com/2023/03/31/sport/australia-surf-club-nudity-policy-intl-spt-scli/index.html
Is this an April Fool's joke?
God, I wish it were.
https://www.cnn.com/2023/05/12/business/mcdonalds-chicken-nuggets-burn-lawsuit/index.html
Quote from: FallenStar on May 12, 2023, 06:36:26 PMhttps://www.cnn.com/2023/05/12/business/mcdonalds-chicken-nuggets-burn-lawsuit/index.html
Hmm, what's wrong with this story? The nuggets should have arrived inside a cardboard container, which itself should have been inside a paper bag, right? How do you spill these all over the place while driving away? The parents are at fault in every possible scenario I can imagine, not McDonalds.
https://www.cnn.com/2023/05/13/us/guns-fishing-violation-kansas-trnd/index.html
No wonder we have so much gun violence. "FUCK YEAH, 'MURICA" is shooting up the damn lakes too. :gunsmilie:
https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-us-canada-65608917
Colorado driver tried to avoid DUI by switching seats with dog, police say
I bet his guy used to say his dog ate his homework when he was a kid.
https://www.cnn.com/2023/07/13/europe/italy-groping-court-ruling-scli-intl/index.html
Cool. I'm going to go to Italy where I can grope a girl for less than ten seconds and get away scot-free since it's not illegal. :icon_rolleyes:
Quote from: FallenStar on July 13, 2023, 11:11:04 AMhttps://www.cnn.com/2023/07/13/europe/italy-groping-court-ruling-scli-intl/index.html
We could argue over semantics all day long but it's pretty fucked up that the judge just let him walk away.
Quote from: Serika on May 13, 2023, 09:22:33 AMQuote from: FallenStar on May 12, 2023, 06:36:26 PMhttps://www.cnn.com/2023/05/12/business/mcdonalds-chicken-nuggets-burn-lawsuit/index.html
Hmm, what's wrong with this story? The nuggets should have arrived inside a cardboard container, which itself should have been inside a paper bag, right? How do you spill these all over the place while driving away? The parents are at fault in every possible scenario I can imagine, not McDonalds.
An update to this article. They were awarded $800,000.
https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-us-canada-66260956
Yes, I saw that. Still seems stupid AF. :death:
https://www.cnn.com/2023/07/23/us/cocaine-cheese-seized-texas-border/index.html
People are fucking disgusting.
:lol:
https://www.cnn.com/2023/07/31/entertainment/paul-reubens-dead/index.html
:crying:
My childhood.
https://www.cnn.com/2023/08/19/us/sayreville-nj-fish-power-outage-trnd/index.html
:lol:
Delta flight makes U-turn over diarrhoea incident
https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-us-canada-66716531
Pilot: I have had it with this mother fucking diarrhea on this mother fucking plane!
I've heard people say the inside of a plane already stinks for the entire flight when one or two people fart. It sounds like this person was shitting himself/herself uncontrollably for a few hours. The news article shares very few details out of respect for the victim's privacy, but I would assume the cabin smelled like a sewer.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mBEHbYBOmBU
And yet another reason I will never take a flight in my life... again. :lol:
https://www.cnn.com/2023/10/17/entertainment/alicia-keys-paragliding/index.html
Oh my god... people are fucking stupid. Just because someone likes to paraglide and wears the color green in their outfits, it doesn't mean they're a supporter of fucking Hamas for cryin' out loud.
THIS is why I *hate* internet society (and maybe society in general). This asinine piece of bullshit.
Quote from: FallenStar on October 17, 2023, 01:41:19 PMhttps://www.cnn.com/2023/10/17/entertainment/alicia-keys-paragliding/index.html
People go crazy and lash out at each other after a massive terrorist attack. It happened after 911. It happens over and over.
And over... and over... :(
https://www.cnn.com/2024/01/02/business/hershey-sued-over-peanut-butter-cups-without-pumpkins/index.html
What I wouldn't give to sue that lady for this frivolous lawsuit. :hammer:
Quote from: FallenStar on January 02, 2024, 02:43:33 PMBut when she opened it, she was HORRIFIED to find that there was no pumpkin carving at all. It was just a regular-looking piece of chocolate.
First world problems, lady! :lol:
I feel like this woman missed a step (or two, or three) between writing an angry letter to Hershey's customer service department and suing them.