Your preference

[JackO]

Its another What's sexier?

This time the choice is between:-

An accidental wetting, where the girl didn't mean to wet herself, but ended up doing so from extreme desperation

A self-inflicted wetting, where the girl decides to drink a lot and then hold it until she wets.


Personally I'd go for the first option indefinitely, but I have heard of/talked to some people who prefer the second.

Anyway, the question is what do YOU think?

[Neil]

Accidental wetting wins hands down for me. The expression on a girl's face when she accidentally wets herself and how she tries to cover up or endure the humiliation are what makes her sexy. Furthermore, I find it cute when they shed tears. Plus, I don't really like deliberate wetting.

[drw001]

For me it's complex.

Completely accidental wetting is pretty hot, but in reality it involves some amount of
unhappiness and shame on the part of the wetter, which I do not find very attractive. 
I do want her to be desperate, and struggling to keep control, and I do want to see
her pee, but I'd much rather she wasn't ashamed and unhappy about it.

Deliberate wetting as described above can go either way.  If it means she's going to
be brazen about it and initiate the wetting on purpose when she thinks she's ready,
that's not too hot.  But if she's really getting off on it, if she really trys to control
herself until the very last minute, and if she's a bit shy about it anyway, I think it
could be very hot.

So I think the balance of all things being equal, I'd go with the deliberate choice.
As long as the deliberate part is her setting herself up to wet, not the actual
timing of the wetting.

drw

[JackO]

For me it's complex.

Completely accidental wetting is pretty hot, but in reality it involves some amount of
unhappiness and shame on the part of the wetter, which I do not find very attractive. 
I do want her to be desperate, and struggling to keep control, and I do want to see
her pee, but I'd much rather she wasn't ashamed and unhappy about it.

Deliberate wetting as described above can go either way.  If it means she's going to
be brazen about it and initiate the wetting on purpose when she thinks she's ready,
that's not too hot.  But if she's really getting off on it, if she really trys to control
herself until the very last minute, and if she's a bit shy about it anyway, I think it
could be very hot.

So I think the balance of all things being equal, I'd go with the deliberate choice.
As long as the deliberate part is her setting herself up to wet, not the actual
timing of the wetting.

drw

So you don;t find the embarrassment a turn on at all, I would have thought a lot of the members here would enjoy embarrassment, but I guess that's the purpose of this thread, to discuss what we do and don;t like.

[LivingInfinite]

drw001: You raise an interesting point actually. There's kind of a moral line being crossed anytime you're dealing with non-consensual stuff.

In my head it's more of a damsel in distress scenario than actually enjoying the fact that the girl is in an unpleasant situation. It's like, now that this horrible thing has happened, a unique opportunity to connect with this girl has been presented.

With that in mind, I definitely prefer accidents, and get nothing out of intentional stuff.

[drw001]

Don't get me wrong here.
I absolutely love to see a girl desperately trying to control her bladder.
I love it even more if she's embarrassed by her need and trying to hide it.
I'd love to see her leak a little, or panic and run somewhere are drop her panties and pee.
And if she's embarrassed by her NEED, that's very sexy.

But for some reason, I don't enjoy her being embarrassed or ashamed after
the fact, when her clothes are wet and there's nothing she can do about it.
The line could be drawn in my case between her not wanting us to see how
desperate she is by trying to exercise control over her reflexes ( very sexy )
and her not wanting us to see the evidence that she completely lost control
( not attractive to me ).

Guess I'm more turned on by the actual struggle for control than by the results
of its loss.

drw

[LivingInfinite]

Ohh, I see. That's really interesting to me because I'm completely the opposite...I'm all about the wetting and not actually into the desperation very much at all.

I'm curious though, are you more into the physical sensation of being desperate? I'm kinda guessing this based on your game (which was really awesome by the way!), 'cause even though I just made the girl wet herself a lot I understand it wasn't really the focus of the game.

Sorry to take this kind of off-topic, I'm just fascinated with this idea of games as a means of personal expression.

[drw001]

Interesting indeed.  I think fans of actual wetting are probably in the great majority,
especially given what's normally depicted.  Desperation and wetting seem to be
lumped together in many minds ... but at least for me they are completely different
things.

The game was something I wrote for myself, and later released to the public as an
afterthought - it is very much an expression of my personal likes, dislikes, fetishes and
fascinations ... right down the the names of the girls.

Trying to explain any fetish to someone who is not into it is usually a completely futile
exercise ... sometimes there is really no WHY.  But I think the attraction of desperation is
not quite about the physical sensations - a lot of fans of female desperation don't actually
like to be desperate themselves - but more about SELF CONTROL mixed with NAUGHTY
BITS.  The idea that she's progressively becoming unable to control strong urges from
her private parts that society says she should disavow is very sexy for some of us - just as
her uncontrollable lust or the uncontrollable spasms of her orgasm might be seen as erotic.

In some way I feel like desperation and wetting are both centered on the social taboo
against peeing - even mentioning it much less doing it.  But desperation focuses on the
effort applied to comply with society's wishes when the body cannot, whereas wetting
focuses on the naughtiness of breaking taboo and the social consequences thereof. 
Thoughts?

drw

[LivingInfinite]

Definitely an enlightening response.

I think it's interesting that you've made reference to the female orgasm, since the reason I was initially thinking of desperation as tied to physical sensation is because of the analogy to straight sex. I'm attracted to the wetting because it puts the girl in a state of vulnerability and dependence - which is really more analogous to a type of relationship than actual sexual contact. But I'm getting the impression here that desperation is also very much psychological.

I generally try to understand fetishes in terms of either physical sex or emotional love. Like how foot fetishes originate from some kind of nerve confusion between the feet and the genitals - mostly a physical thing. And I would think the adult baby fetish is an amalgamation of parental love and spousal love.

For desperation, I definitely understand the appeal of a girl struggling to conform to societal norms. Perhaps it's related to the double standard, since a man can urinate anywhere he wants outdoors, and doesn't really have to deal with lineups for the bathroom. That would fall more under the 'emotional' side of the coin I think, since double standards dictate the prototypical male/female relationship. Of course I might be reading way too much into it...what do you think?

[drw001]

I think one has to be very careful when looking at the possible ROOT of a fetish
not to conflate the ROOT with the actual fetish.  A foot fetish might have its
roots in some connection between the feet and the genitals, but the foot fetishist
simply has an attraction to feet.

I am not entirely certain that I'd go so far as to say that the desperation
fetish is rooted too closely in societal differences between men and women
when it comes to urination.  That does not ring true for me, at least - I don't feel
like a desperate girl is more feminine for her desperation.

The point you bring up about wetting and vunerability may be more important
in explaining both the desperation and the wetting fetish.  A desperate girl
is vunerable in a different way - she's exposing something very private ( strong
feeling between her legs ) to the public eye.

One thought is that attraction to desperation could be an attraction to strong,
yet humanized women.  Show me you are strong by resisting the urge to pee,
and show me you are human by having your limits.  It's not a coincidence that
there is a subgenre of desperation that focuses on strong, controlling women
who eventually succumb to the strong urges of a full bladder.

In the end, I am sure we can come up with many possible attractions - and it's
certain that not every desperation fetishist has the same set of likes and the
same set of motivating factors ... when it comes to sex, we humans seem to have
a nearly infinite variety of little quirks.

drw

[LivingInfinite]

Of course, I certainly didn't mean to say that all foot fetishists (or any kind of fetishist) were alike. Just that I would have never understood why a foot fetish would be possible until I'd discovered the root cause. When I think about the roots of a fetish, it's kind of a way of searching for common ground. Once I've understood why feet can be thought of in a sexual way, the infinite personal variations of the foot fetish begin to make sense. But as you said, since fetishes develop so far past their roots, perhaps the physical/emotional distinction is not very important.

Still, I do find it difficult to pin down the root of the urination fetish, and therefore have a hard time explaining it. I feel like the idea of urination in a sexual context is so ingrained that any attempt to explain it would be colored completely by one's other preferences - which really would say more about the individual than the fetish itself.

I'm actually beginning to think that your 'naughty bits' association carries a lot of weight - it seems like fixation upon social stigma would fall flat as a fetish without that basic association with sex.

[drw001]

There's been a lot of thought on the general question of why urination would
be associated with sex for some people.  A couple themes seem to emerge.

Sex and peeing have a few unique things in common.  The genitals are involved
in these activities and not much else.  They are also the only things we do in private
that are very physically different for guys and gals.

This, of course, is an explanation for generic pee fetishes, not desperation or
wetting specifically ... but I think it's a good one for the basic association of
pee with sexual things ... an explanation of why a really strong need to pee can be
sexy in the way a really strong need to sleep is not ... or why wetting one's pants
is sexy in a way that falling asleep on a park bench is not.  At least for those of
us whose brains have made that particular connection.

A lot could also be theorized on why specifically wetting or desperation or capacity
or watersports or cathing or whatever else the human mind has been able to come
up with - but there might not always be a real WHY any more than there is a WHY
to some people liking large breasts, bondage, lactation, public exposure, and so on.
Sure you can all relate it back to their mom's or social pressures or whatnot, but you
can't really prove much except that certain people like certain things, and men's minds
are VERY creative in this area in particular.

drw

[Stripe]

I don't like the idea of choosing when to pee - for me, it takes away part of the appeal of desperation for me. I don't mind if a girl drinks loads on purpose but then holds it until they've genuinely reached their limits, though.

[Rydia]

I don't like the idea of choosing when to pee - for me, it takes away part of the appeal of desperation for me. I don't mind if a girl drinks loads on purpose but then holds it until they've genuinely reached their limits, though.

I agree with this. For me it's not so much a matter of whether they intended to wet themselves or not, but rather if they hold until they're bursting and then let go. I tend to enjoy the desperation just as much as the wetting itself...

Also, upon thinking about it a little more, I think I would like situation 1 a little more, provided the person in question isn't completely traumatized by the experience...I like a little embarrassment.

[Neil]

Here's an interesting thing that I would like you all to think about.

Why is it that we found naked girls/men sexy?

I don't know about girls, but I believe every men will get turned on whenever they see a naked girl. (unless they're gays..) Hence, it brought me to a conclusion that it might have something to do with our hormones or how our brain's perception of sexiness works. For example, our major stimulator is seeing someone from the opposite gender naked. Then, there are sub-stimulator that is, our fetish. We can only determine what our fetishes are by seeing it ourselves.

For example, back in my school days, I've always seen people vomit simply because they're sick. This doesn't turn me on, so it means I don't have this fetish. And then, I've always heard of people wetting themselves, yet I haven't seen the events with my own eyes. At this time, hearing about the accidents doesn't turn me on, and I only laughed it out thinking it was funny. But after I stumble across some wetting websites, (internet = heaven) I find the whole thing very sexy and arousing.

My point is, every brain have their own perception of what's sexy and what's not sexy. For example, a girl wetting herself might be considered sexy to some because of the humiliation aspect, while some might considered it not sexy because they don't like the humiliation aspect.
And while some find it normal to play games like Resident Evil, some might get turned on due to the gory aspect.