Author Topic: If i were the emperor  (Read 2329 times)

Offline Serika

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If i were the emperor
« on: January 09, 2011, 03:00:03 PM »
I'm sure only me and Star are going to post but anyone can come and play.


Now, are there things you don't like about the modern world? I'm sure there are. You are now the emperor and you have the final say on everything. To play it goes like this....


If i were the emperor there would be no more liability lawsuits. If you slip and fall or otherwise hurt yourself it's your own damn fault for being a klutz.

If i were the emperor school would no longer be mandatory but it would be free all the way through college.

If i were the emperor it would not be considered a crime to kick someone if you are in a bookstore and he is sitting down in the middle of an aisle and reading manga/anything.

If i were the emperor racists and homophobes would be punished by turning them into what they hate. A racist would get plastic surgery to look like the ethnicity he was whining about and a homophobe would be forced to dress like the opposite sex and go around hugging members of the same sex.

If i were the emperor weed would be legal, but if you are caught trying to force it on people that don't want to smoke it (they say "no" and you say "WHY NOT?!?!" or "COME ON JUST TRY IT!!") you will be flogged.

If i were the emperor you could be arrested if your car speakers wake someone up in the night hours, then you would be locked in a room and forced to listen to Justin Beiber for 24 hours straight.

If i were the emperor, and you fart in a crowded elevator, the people inside it would have the right to give you a sock bath.



Go for it! Be the biggest dic(k)tator you can. :D
On the internet you're only as smrt as your spell checker.

Offline FallenStar

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Re: If i were the emperor
« Reply #1 on: January 09, 2011, 06:05:17 PM »
Giving my opinions on such things has usually tended to make me even more of an outcast than usual, but eh... oh well... here's my list:

If I were the emperor, internet trolls would not only be traceable, but punishable by jail terms

If I were the emperor, RPGs would have NO action-based elements (such as the mini games in both FFVII and FFIX) and if anyone put something like that in them, they'd have to suffer 50 lashes

If I were the emperor, no major U.S. city would have more than one professional sports team (per sport) - i.e. No "New York Jets" AND "New York Giants" or "New York Yankees" and "New York Mets"

If I were the emperor, sex education would include teaching youngsters how to masturbate and removing all ridiculous rumors surrounding such actions - i.e. No more calling it "Self-abuse"

If I were the emperor , soda pop would not only be made to be good for your health, but mandatory xD

If I were the emperor , Video game systems would not cost more than 200 dollars max no matter what   *rant

If I were the emperor , anyone who tries to DDoS a site would end up getting their own computers hacked and fried by their own actions.  :lol:



Well... we're fucked...

Offline Serika

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Re: If i were the emperor
« Reply #2 on: January 10, 2011, 01:48:29 AM »
Giving my opinions on such things has usually tended to make me even more of an outcast than usual
This is all in good fun. I'm sure some of mine are going to annoy a few people. People who sit and read in aisles, i'm talking about YOU. *kick* *kick* *kick* :lol:

Quote
If I were the emperor , soda pop would not only be made to be good for your health, but mandatory xD

If you create something like Pepsi or Mountain Dew that helps me lose weight, doesn't rot my teeth, AND doesn't taste like shit, i would be a loyal citizen of the glorious emperor. xD



If I were the emperor all those funny Japanese game shows would be broadcast in America and Europe too.

If I were the emperor the "playoffs" would refer to tournaments of all the classic games like Street Fighter, Doom, and others from the 90's. It would be broadcast on TV and the winner would get a giant belt like the ones in the WWF.
On the internet you're only as smrt as your spell checker.

Offline FallenStar

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Re: If i were the emperor
« Reply #3 on: January 10, 2011, 02:21:05 AM »
You never know, my friend.  :lol:

If I were emperor , movie remakes would pander to the original fans using original era music and not be updated with gangsta rap, hip hop, or other current decade music. (The Karate Kid, I'm looking at you  :|  )

If I were emperor , classic TV sitcoms of the 50s, 60s, 70s, and 80s would be on television a LOT more.

If I were emperor , I would make it an imprisonable offense to put anything other than CARTOONS (and other animation) on the CARTOON Network   *rant

If I were emperor , I would decree that ads can only take up 1 or 2 minutes of viewing time per half hour. Enough with these 20 minute shows and 10 minutes of bullshit commercials  :|

If I were emperor , there would be no "pay per month" to play video games or to watch certain movies, sporting events. They would be part of a normal, low cable fee and you could watch whatever you want

(not sure if I should say the next one, but eh... xD)

If I were emperor there would be at least 5 "genders"; Male, Female, Futa, Newhalf, and Cuntboy/Reverse Newhalf  xD



Well... we're fucked...

Offline Serika

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Re: If i were the emperor
« Reply #4 on: January 10, 2011, 03:02:17 AM »
If I were emperor there would be at least 5 "genders"; Male, Female, Futa, Newhalf, and Cuntboy/Reverse Newhalf  xD
The name of the game is "If i were the emperor", not "If i were GOD" :lol:


If I were the emperor, game companies such as Nintendo would be required to make every new console fully backwards compatible with the games of all their previous consoles. If this is not possible then they must do something that will allow people to play their old cartridges. This would be "the retro games protection act" XD

If I were the emperor, and your neighbor's dog takes a dump in your yard, it would be your inalienable right to shovel it up and fling it against the side of his house or car.
On the internet you're only as smrt as your spell checker.

Offline FallenStar

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Re: If i were the emperor
« Reply #5 on: January 10, 2011, 10:41:31 AM »
If I were emperor there would be at least 5 "genders"; Male, Female, Futa, Newhalf, and Cuntboy/Reverse Newhalf  xD
The name of the game is "If i were the emperor", not "If i were GOD" :lol:

Genetic engineering, my friend. =P  If we can clone a sheep, I'm sure we could discover a way to intermix the current genders. Hell, we can already do sex-change operations as it is.   :lol:

Also, I full HEARTEDLY agree with your backwards compatibility desire. =)

If I were emperor , I would order George Lucas to remake the Star Wars PT so that traditional Star Wars fans like it (and so that people like RedLetterMedia wouldn't be compelled to make crappy reviews of it)


If I were emperor , 3D glasses would remain a thing of the past and 3D television would not come out on the heels of HDTV (which I just bought like half a year ago, god damn it =|  )


If I were emperor , anyone that believes that video games cause violence and argues with religious beliefs *or* argues like Jack Thompson would be arrested and forced to play Kirby games.   :lol:



Well... we're fucked...

Offline FallenStar

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Re: If i were the emperor
« Reply #6 on: January 12, 2011, 08:31:55 AM »
That reminds me...

If I were emperor the WMG would be disallowed and youtube's compliance with them would be made illegal. Imagine... a series no longer produced and no longer sold still being copyrighted so you can't even upload the opening theme song of it.   *rant

If I were emperor, .doc file formats would be the ONLY word processing formats allowed. :o)

If I were emperor, Serika would be my personal slavegirl and I would make "her" my second-in-command of all things Japanese and anime-related  :lol:


EDIT: Forgot to say that I would join in with zeroin001 in prosecuting 4kids as well as DiC and any other company that "Americanizes" anime. Dubbing would, however, have to continue - just has to be *good* and *accurate* dubbing with flavorable and understandable speech.
« Last Edit: January 12, 2011, 08:33:48 AM by FallenStar »


Well... we're fucked...

Offline Kenichi123

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Re: If i were the emperor
« Reply #7 on: January 16, 2011, 12:11:38 AM »
This is going to be crazy. Yet again, I'm crazy. So...

If i were the emperor, Animes I request would have as many episodes made as I want. (Like extending a 24 episode anime into a 52, or 104, or 15 billion.)

If i were the emperor, Rich people would have to pay a tax for every person who has less than 1 million dollars. Really have to hate those people with 50 billion dollars, doing absolutely nothing with it.

If i were the emperor, 4Kids would be assimilated into E.A.C. (Epic Anime Channel)

If i were the emperor, People who actually Worked would make more than people who just sit in a chair all day and do nothing.

If i were the emperor, I would change the name of this game to, "If i were a God,"

If i were the emperor, Nintendo, Sega, and Microsoft would have to work on ONE gaming console called: THE DRAGON

If i were the emperor, Every time they remake a game and update the graphics, Its now a law that they must also add 25 secrets/side-quests/endings/etc, to make it more interesting.

If i were the emperor, It'd be mandatory that you know every language by the age of 5. So it's not so confusing when you go up to people and they speak another language............

If i were the emperor, Every Anime must release 2 episodes per week instead of one.

If i were the emperor, I would Decree that ALL MEN ARE EQUAL... Wait a second...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ Don't take whatever I said seriously, Unless it has to do with anything I do-er-we-as-sh-... yeah. Just read what I wrote :(

Offline Clem Trilling

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Re: If i were the emperor
« Reply #8 on: March 02, 2011, 08:27:12 PM »
If i were emperor, the financial sector would be disenfranchised, the assets of all family members of financial workers would be seized.

Kenichi, I'm sorry, but you were pussyfooting around this one. It would almost be unfortunate that social services for the redundant (and if ever there were an appropriate use of a Briticism, this is it) would be adequately funded FOREVER.

If I were emperor, the satellite defense system would be directed entirely at U.S. two-way highway traffic. Any vehicle encroaching upon the oncoming lane would be instantly vaporized, even if there were no other vehicles in the vicinity.

Good for the energy crisis, overcrowding... and thinning the herd without war. That's just good eugenics.

If I were emperor, plain text would encompass all possible verbal communication, including math, and each offense of publishing printed or word-processed text would cost one eye.

"What's up, .DOC?" :death:  You see, the nice thing about plain text is, it can be easily rendered in Braille.